


Who's Next Boy?

by squidling



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Idol AU, M/M, Panic Attacks, Slight love triangle, they are revealed like loona, wonwoo jihoon bffs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:27:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 24,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23615947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/squidling/pseuds/squidling
Summary: Jihoon's best friend Wonwoo has always dreamt of being an idol. When they discover a boy group being revealed member by member each month, it was hard not to get involved.Jihoon might have found a little more than a career path, though.
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Lee Jihoon | Woozi, Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Yoon Jeonghan, Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Jihoon | Woozi, Wen Jun Hui | Jun/Xu Ming Hao | The8
Comments: 7
Kudos: 108





	1. wonwoo the carat

**Author's Note:**

> i started this in december and just . wrote 3 and a half chapters n dipped then recovered it a few days ago so now i have up to 8 chapters prewritten lets get it!  
> this came about bc i was making svt loona album edits n my imagination went wild  
> ALSO i skipped adore u as a solo for the album edit purposes bc adore u has. no good photos anywhere rip may 2015 pledis budget  
> anyway off we go

14th January, 2019

“Hoon? Have you heard of SEVENTEEN?”

Jihoon spared a glance from his guitar to look over at his best friend Wonwoo, who was flicking through YouTube. The latter had taken one headphone out to look over and ask the question. The former was wishing he hadn’t bothered; it had interrupted his flow, and he hadn’t quite figured out the next part of the piece. 

“No. Are they new?”

“Yeah, new company and everything. They’re debuting, like, one guy at a time or something? There’s one solo at the moment.”

Jihoon nodded, already back to thinking through where he was stuck. He struck a chord and hummed along. Before the note faded he scribbled a couple words in his notebook. This joined a mess of pencil, sprawling across the lines. If anyone could decipher them they would be able to tell they were lyrics. Wonwoo was always joking that Jihoon himself should be an idol, but Jihoon was sceptical of the idea. Being an idol meant control, it meant being famous. Here in his notebook he was free to write as he pleased, even if the songs never left his room. Despite the voice at the back of his head urging him to just try, he was forcing himself to be content with that. 

Wonwoo’s dreams of being an idol were much more active. He loved performing, but he had very little confidence. Jihoon knew Wonwoo saw his face as pretty, but he didn’t think it was good enough to be an idol. He also had this weird thought that his voice was too deep for someone to listen to, and his dancing was stiff. Despite Jihoon’s loud disagreement with this, Wonwoo never listened. 

Wonwoo connected his phone to his Amazon Echo, causing her to blurt out a nice little announcement that she was ‘now connected to iPhone’ and startling Jihoon so violently his hand jogged across the page.

“You’re lucky I write in pencil, Jeon Wonwoo,” he said. Wonwoo laughed and let his music play. Jihoon assumed it was SEVENTEEN. If Jihoon was listening properly, he probably would think it was pretty good, but he just tried to block it out and kept writing. 

11th February, 2019

“Second boy of the month!” Wonwoo announced, strutting into Jihoon’s bedroom. “Seungkwan! Alexa, play Mansae by SEVENTEEN.”

“Get your own Alexa!”

“What, in your house?”

Jihoon sighed, and lifted his hand from the keys. He cracked his knuckles, wincing at the slight ache from hours of playing. He shut the sheet music in front of him, and turned to face Wonwoo as the song played. 

“It’s better than last month’s. Who was that guy?”

“Yoon Jeonghan with Pretty U, official colour lilac—”

“You really like this group, don’t you?” Jihoon interrupted.

Wonwoo shrugged. “Good music.” 

“I don’t know,” Jihoon said, listening carefully. “I think I’d do it slightly differently if it was my song. Good voice though.” 

“One day it’ll be us,” Wonwoo said. Jihoon hummed, but didn’t respond. Wonwoo had taken to pretending that he and Jihoon were both going to be idols. Sometimes they were in rival groups, sometimes they were in the same group “but either way we’re going to be famous”. 

11th March, 2019

“It’s out! He’s here!”

“Huh?”

“March’s boy!” Wonwoo beamed. “Jun!”

The song, Fallin’ Flower, took a more gentle approach than the previous singles. Jihoon couldn’t stop himself tapping along to the beat with his pencil as he read over his score. He’d given in and asked Wonwoo to explain the group’s actual concept. Apparently it was a 12 member group, with each boy represented by a colour, animal and month. They were building up a lore, each music video adding a new depth to the universe. Each boy would have a solo album, each of which Wonwoo had bought, and excitedly showed Jihoon. 

Wonwoo tended to change favourites every time a boy was revealed. For now it was Jun, though it was only a matter of time before the next boy changed his mind. However, Seungkwan’s album was still Jihoon’s favourite. Mansae was the sound of happiness, a fun beat with a choreography Jihoon was almost keen to learn. His solo, ‘Alright’, was nice as well but it had nothing on Mansae.

Seungkwan’s animal was a badger, and his colour was yellow. Each boy had a representative animal and colour, along with the month they were revealed in. Jeonghan was a deer, his colour lilac. Jun was a leopard, with the colour baby pink, though to annoy Wonwoo Jihoon had taken to calling him a toad. Jihoon wouldn’t admit it to Wonwoo but he was starting to become interested in the group. 

8th April, 2019

April brought Dokyeom (dark red, horse) and what Jihoon called “an absolute banger” named Very Nice. This quite easily overtook Jihoon’s previous favourite, Seungkwan. After Jun’s success in music shows, Pretty U winning two awards, both he and Wonwoo were shocked and upset to not see Dokyeom win any awards for Very Nice.

When they weren’t complaining about the lack of taste held by the general public in not giving Very Nice any wins, they were both working on music of their own. Jihoon was still songwriting of course, but Wonwoo had just begun to write some raps. He was surprisingly good at it, and he looked like a rapper. When Jihoon told him that, it had started Wonwoo thinking.

“Maybe we should audition.”

“What?” Jihoon frowned. “I don’t know. You can.”

“Not without you.”

Jihoon sighed and put Very Nice on for the 50th time.

13th May, 2019

Another month, another reveal. Dino. Turquoise. Otter. Title track: Boom Boom. B-side: Zero. He was Wonwoo’s new favourite. 

“They’re all your new favourites,” Jihoon said, rolling his eyes. 

“He’s my new favourite for _good_. I just feel like maybe he needs protecting from, like, everything,” Wonwoo exclaimed in response. Jihoon just nodded slowly. The songs may slap but he wasn’t really interested in the members themselves. Wonwoo on the other hand was watching every two minute clip uploaded each day, titled ‘Going SEVENTEEN zero point whatever number it was on now’.

When Jihoon heard the excited chatter of yet another Going Seventeen clip he turned his music loud and put on his headphones. Boom Boom blasted into his ears. 

10th June, 2019

June’s boy was Vernon with an EDM song that Wonwoo said sounded like they’d ripped off The Chainsmokers, but Jihoon just said all basic EDM songs sounded the same. Vernon’s animal was a lizard, Jihoon almost spitting out his drink as Wonwoo told him, and his colour was sky blue.

The basic EDM worked and Vernon took home six wins. Jihoon had never seen Wonwoo look so proud. 

“You know, it’s worth a shot,” Wonwoo said as the sidetrack Life’s A Beach (another absolute tune, that Wonwoo prefered to Don’t Wanna Cry) started. 

“What is?”

“Auditioning.”

“Look, Won, if you want to be an idol you can go for it without me, you know? Don’t let me hold you back.”

Wonwoo sighed. “I don’t want to if it’ll separate us. We do stuff together.”

Jihoon would never admit it, but he was afraid of losing Wonwoo as well. They’d been best friends since they were two years old. Neither had ever really had anyone else. 

Jihoon left his response unsaid, not wanting to outright deny his friend, but not wanting to agree either. 

8th July, 2019

“You look like you’re about to explode,” Jihoon commented. Wonwoo nodded eagerly.

“Hoshi! Hoshi, Hoshi, Hoshi!”

Hoshi was of course July’s boy and had made his debut with a bang — or a clap, rather. Clap and its feminine bside Touch were Wonwoo’s new favourite songs. Jihoon was still hung up on Very Nice, if he was honest.

“Let me guess,” Jihoon said, “his animal is a...hamster.”

“Tiger. And his colour is orange.”

“Oh? That’s not a common association.”

Wonwoo stared. “So let’s audition.”

Of course Jihoon didn’t say yes. He didn’t say anything close to a no though.

5th August, 2019

“I love him,” Jihoon said the second he heard his door open. “He’s so...like? Oh my god?”

Wonwoo laughed. Thankfully it was Wonwoo, not his mum. That would’ve been a bit more awkward.

Jihoon continued, “his dancing is so precise and it’s such an elegant choreography…”

“Inspiring?” Wonwoo raised an eyebrow.

Jihoon went silent. He stared at the screenshot of S.Coups (red, dog) on his phone. His thoughts could barely be heard over the loop of Thanks in his head.

It couldn’t hurt to try. And it wasn’t like he didn’t want to be an idol, he was just scared. But for Wonwoo… He shouldn’t stop Wonwoo from following his dream, especially as he knew he was currently the only reason Wonwoo wasn’t actively auditioning. He should be there with Wonwoo. As support, even if he knew he wouldn’t be accepted. 

“Fine.”

“What?”

“We can audition. When’s the next one?”

Wonwoo vibrated with excitement as he scrolled through his phone, the details ready, “uh… next week! Fuck…”

Jihoon nodded, trying to stay positive. “Okay. Okay, we just need to touch up some choreographies, right? And find a song to sing.”

The two got to it right away. Jihoon took on a new challenge and started learning the ‘Thanks’ choreography — a great attempt at ‘touching up some choreographies’. Wonwoo stuck to Boom Boom. They both knew that if any choreo would get him through, it would be Boom Boom. He had practiced it to perfection already, watching it a dozen times a day to get even the smallest details. Jihoon took this approach with Thanks, except he only had six days to do it rather than the three months Wonwoo had already had.

Somehow he found it easy to over analyze every stage Seungcheol had performed. He watched the fancams and the dance practice and the actual stages — although that was less about the dance as it was the person dancing it.


	2. gandalf's law

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote this ages ago idk if its proofread i just skimmed through it but i liked it reading through the other day so here we are enjoy

Jihoon had grown up in a musical family. He began piano lessons when he was 4 years old, clarinet when he was eleven, even drums at twelve. His dad taught him guitar. His family had always encouraged him to pursue music. He was very lucky in that sense. Mr and Mrs Lee were thrilled at the news that their son wanted to audition for Pledis Entertainment.

Wonwoo on the other hand was far less fortunate. His parents were appalled by his musical dreams. They wanted him to study hard, go to university for a maths degree or something boring and earn large amounts of money from a 9-5 office job. Wonwoo couldn’t want anything less. He longed to be somebody. He didn’t dare say anything about this audition to them. Wonwoo was determined.

So on Thursday Jihoon sat on the steps that lead up to Wonwoo’s door, just opposite his own home. He was waiting for his friend. It wasn’t too long before the door opened and Wonwoo came jogging down.

“Do your parents know you’re auditioning?” Wonwoo asked.

“Yeah. Do yours?”

“Nope.”

Jihoon snorted. Their parents talked often - it wouldn’t stay a secret for long. Jihoon and his blabbermouth had already mentioned that Wonwoo was auditioning too.

Both were nervous, but neither dared to say it. They walked quickly but calmly to the bus stop. Jihoon tapped a rhythm on his leg. Wonwoo tapped his foot. The latter felt like he was slowly being set on fire. His future relied on this day. His dream relied on it.

“Do you think it’ll be busy?” Jihoon asked.

“Maybe. They have been getting a lot more attention,” Wonwoo shrugged.

The bus arrived and they were each overpriced for a return ticket to Gangnam. 

“What if you get in and I don’t?” Wonwoo said so quietly that his voice almost failed him.

“You will get in.”

“I won’t.”

Jihoon was about to say something, then stopped himself. “So you don’t want me to get in without you, but you don’t think you’ll be getting in?”

“Uh…”

Jihoon started laughing. “So you hope I suck?”

Wonwoo laughed too now. “Yeah, of course! I’m kidding. You deserve to do well.”

“If I do get in without you, I’m not accepting it. You’re the only reason I’m doing this.”

Wonwoo wasn’t sure if he should say something about how he should accept it anyway or to say thank you, so all possible words got stuck in his throat and he didn’t say anything. He watched the trees go past instead. A part of him was beginning to wish that he was being left behind with them.

All of his life, Wonwoo had watched idols on TV and longed to be one of them. But now, at the chance before him, he thought he was going to throw up.

Auditions were held in a pretty important looking building that made Jihoon’s hand tremble. They signed their life away at the front desk and then sat with the other auditionees. Jihoon stared at the ground. Wonwoo was looking everyone else up and down.

“Are you looking for Who’s Next Boy?” Jihoon asked with a small smile.

“Yeah. Also to see who we have to have more personality than.”

“I have no personality, don’t mind me,” said the boy next to Wonwoo.

Jihoon couldn’t help but laugh. They both looked over at the boy who spoke. He had bright, cat-like eyes and plump lips. He already looked like an idol.

“You look like Who’s Next Boy,” Jihoon admitted.

The boy blinked blankly. “I’m not, don’t worry.”

“You’re pretty, though,” piped up Wonwoo.

“Turn around,” the boy laughed shyly, “I’m only here for the experience.”

“What’s your name?”

“Josh. Joshua Hong.”

Jihoon nodded. An idol name. He had the feeling that Joshua would without a doubt be accepted.

Individual auditions were after a callback, so this one was about ten people at once. They were chosen to go in at random. Joshua and Wonwoo went in together. Jihoon was relieved. He didn’t want his best friend to be his direct competition.

He was worried for Wonwoo. The boy wanted this so much. He had spent two hours the previous day trying to find something to wear (“Do I want to literally stand out or try to stand out with just...me?”), and finally settled on dark jeans and a dark yellow shirt tucked in to achieve the best of both worlds. Jihoon had watched the colour drain from his face when he was called up. This day meant everything to Wonwoo. Maybe it was the nerves for his best friend that made Jihoon say no for so long.

After a while, Wonwoo finally came out and Jihoon’s name was called.

“I’ll wait outside,” Wonwoo said with a small smile.

“How did it go?” Jihoon asked quickly.

“Um… okay, I think?”

Jihoon nodded, slightly comforted but not really. Then he was rushed inside.

The audition was organised and highly anxiety-inducing. His sweat over learning the ‘Thanks’ choreography had gone to waste as a random song was played, and this was what they each had to dance to. Jihoon panicked like he had never panicked before, but he didn’t think he was the worst one there and that was what mattered.

Vocals were fine. Individually, they each had thirty seconds so Jihoon gave everything he had to the chorus of Mansae. 

He sat through six more trainees until the audition was over. Once Jihoon left the room his chest suddenly loosened, like he had been holding his breath the entire time.

The fresh air was a relief, and so was the sight of Wonwoo playing Mario Kart Tour on his phone. He was losing. Quite sorely, too.

“Well, that was anticlimactic,” Jihoon said, perching next to him.

“I know! I felt like a fish out of water,” Wonwoo’s character (good ol’ Shy Guy) crashed into a fence with a ‘mow’. “Do you think you did good enough?”

“I hope so. What about you?”

Wonwoo didn’t say anything until he’d finished his race. Then he just shook his head. “I don’t think I did well enough at all.”

Jihoon didn’t know what to say so he said nothing. If he tried to reassure him, he would probably be shot back with words from Wonwoo’s lack of self confidence. But maybe he really had messed up - and in that case, Jihoon didn’t want to remind him. So neither of them said anything on the journey home.

They went back to Wonwoo’s. His mother stood in the kitchen peeling potatoes and his little brother, Bohyuk, was writing an essay at the table.

“How was your audition?” Mrs Jeon asked with a flat tone. Wonwoo went red.

“You could never stop me.”

She pursed her lips.

“I didn’t do well anyway. Not compared to the others.”

Jihoon got sick of hovering awkwardly and instead hovered awkwardly over Bohyuk’s shoulder.

“Gotta love the marxists,” he said.

“Gotta hate capitalism.”

When the two finally went up to Wonwoo’s room, Jihoon nagged his friend to tell him about his audition; anything that went wrong and anything that went well. Jihoon couldn’t get much other than “everyone else was just better”, so he decided to assume that he actually did quite well, but his crippling self esteem was controlling his view of it.

Jihoon received a callback three days later through a phone call that he almost missed. He wasn’t with Wonwoo at the time, which was good because he was so scared that maybe Wonwoo didn’t do well after all, and he really would be accepted without him. So he kept his mouth shut until the next day when Wonwoo showed up at the door.

“Sunday,” he said with a huge smile plastered on his face, “my final audition is on Sunday.”

Jihoon pulled him in for a rare hug. “I knew you’d do it! I told you you did well, didn’t I? They liked you!”

“I know! I know, I know, I know! Did you get a callback yet?”

Jihoon let go and admitted that he had. His final audition was on Saturday. Both of them were nervous about going on their own, but not much could be done about it. 

So once again the friends spent a little less time together, more time preparing. Jihoon was glad he didn’t have to prepare a choreography last time since he had begun to realise all the small details of ‘Thanks’ that he had missed previously. He barely rehearsed a song to sing. He wasn’t worried about that.

Saturday came around. Jihoon took the bus alone this time. It made it more nerve wracking. He was usually joined at the hip (well, more Wonwoo’s knee and his hip) to his best friend, so going into Gangnam alone was quite scary. It was at the Pledis headquarters this time, too. His stomach was in his throat. 

Jihoon made the most of the walk from the bus stop to the company building. It took thirty minutes but he needed the clearer headspace. He did have to try not to get confused over Google Maps, though.

He entered the building, signed in and was directed to the waiting room. This one was much smaller than last time. There were only two other people there - one girl and one boy. Jihoon almost walked straight into the boy. They both panicked and bowed to each other, then got flustered and apologised. 

The girl was called in and another girl came out. She strutted out full of confidence, flicking her long hair over her shoulder. Jihoon wished he could’ve taken some of that, kept a bit for himself and given the rest to Wonwoo. 

The boy he walked into had sat a seat away from Jihoon. He was trembling with nerves. 

“Hey,” Jihoon said, “it’s okay.”

The boy looked at him with the expression of a deer in headlights before shooting him a small smile. 

“I flew from China for this. I can’t mess it up.”

“And you won’t. Promise.”

He nodded and introduced himself. “I’m Minghao.”

“Jihoon. You’ll do great, Minghao.”

Before Minghao could reply, Jihoon’s name was called. Minghao wished him luck and watched the boy go.

The judges here were far more important than last time. Thanks to Wonwoo’s research, Jihoon knew these were songwriters, composers, dancers, and even two members of SEVENTEEN: Jeonghan and Seungcheol.

Jihoon almost immediately made eye contact with Seungcheol. His breath got caught in his throat. He looked away.

“Lee Jihoon, is it?” A woman confirmed.

“Yes, that’s right.”

“Hi, Jihoon,” she introduced herself as Son Anhye, then introduced each of the other judges in turn.

“And are you familiar with SEVENTEEN?” Anhye asked.

“I am.”

She nodded towards Seungcheol and Jeonghan. “So you know who these two are then?”

“I do.”

Anhye smiled. “Would you like to be a part of the group?”

Jihoon nodded and said yes, he would. 

“What do you think you could bring to SEVENTEEN?”

Jihoon blinked. He didn’t realise that this was going to be a job interview. He thought carefully.

“I’d like to produce as well as perform,” he said finally. “I think I could expand the songwriting label they already have whilst bringing a self-producing label too.”

“You dream big,” Jeonghan said with a warm, genuine smile. Like he was giving him his approval.

Anhye concluded out loud that she’d like to hear Jihoon sing first, having seen that the song he had written on his form was an original. It was something he’d scribbled in his room, something called ‘What Kind Of Future’. Just put together on GarageBand.

Jihoon had to connect his phone to their speaker for the instrumental. Since it was a private audition, much more serious, he was allowed to go through all of it as well as the full choreography he had prepared. He was glad none of his hard work was going to waste this time. Jihoon hit play and ignored the butterflies rising in his stomach.

As he sang, each beat he had made struck a chord within him, but this time it was anxiously. Was it good enough? Had he overcrowded it? Was there enough going on?

Jihoon had never been more relieved for his song to end. He couldn’t even tell if they were impressed or not.

“Are you self taught with producing?” Seungcheol asked him.

“Uh, yeah.”

“Impressive.”

Jihoon couldn’t help but smile. 

“Are you happy to dance now, Jihoon?” Ahye said, “you’ve put a very recent song, I’m intrigued.”

Jihoon said yes and they gave him a moment to prepare and get into position. He quickly got on the floor with his hands together in front of him. The music began and like a puppet he moved with it. The boy had gone over it so many times that he barely had to think about it now. 

He forgot where he was. He only felt the music and he only saw Seungcheol, but this time in his mind; the performance version of his music video mirrored. Every single beat went all the way through him as each limb hit it. 

Then it was over and Jihoon had nothing left to show. He looked at Seungcheol. The idol sat leaning forward on the table, having watched the performance with great interest. 

“You must have learnt that quicker than I did,” he said.

“I tried my best.”

“Why do you want to be an idol, Jihoon?” Anhye questioned.

Jihoon had to stop himself from saying ‘because my best friend does’. He managed to throw out “I’ve been obsessed with music for as long as I can remember, so it would be incredible to be given the opportunity to share my own with the world”, which made him cringe inwardly. It seemed to go down okay, though. Maybe they just appreciated the effort.

Wonwoo’s phone rang and he pounced on it like a tiger. Jihoon spared a glance then quickly looked away as Wonwoo left the room. They had agreed to a pact: they wouldn’t share their results until they had both received them. Each knew they wouldn’t be able to bear the waiting if they knew one had gotten in. 

Wonwoo came back in just a minute later, now confirmed either a trainee or not a trainee. His poker face was good. It scared him, too. 

Jihoon didn’t receive his call until the next day. His phone rang and he had never answered it so fast. Wonwoo watched eagerly until he had put his phone down.

“On the count of three?”

Jihoon nodded. “One…”

“...two…”

“Three. Accepted!”

“Accepted!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there we have it lads  
> ok share leave comments smash that kudo button subscribe jesus fuck ok lov u bye


	3. new home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> once again im rusty on whats even in this i just skim read it enjoy

Two suitcases sat on Jihoon’s bed. Home was only a 30 minute bus ride away so he wasn’t too fussed about forgetting anything. He had the essentials: clothes, lyric books, charger. His guitar sat ready in its case, too.

Jihoon’s mother stood at the door, her hand over her heart.

“I always knew you would become someone, Hoon,” she said, “I’m so proud of you.”

“Mum, I’m still no one. I’m just a trainee,” Jihoon sighed, slinging his guitar over his shoulder. 

With each hand he picked up a suitcase and made his way to the car. Wonwoo was just putting his into the trunk. His parents and Bohyuk stood with him. Mrs Jeon stood frowning.

Wonwoo had spent hours and hours, some spent crying, to convince her to let him go. Jihoon had begged too, and his parents. Eventually Mrs Jeon could see how much it meant to her son. Really, Wonwoo knew that she felt he would fail and would come back home, seeing that she was right. She’d said it herself.

Everything seemed so strange to Jihoon. As if it wasn’t real. How could it be? How was he good enough? He kept expecting to open his eyes and be back in his bed, still a plain boy with too many fears and too many notebooks full of suppressed dreams.

Wonwoo nudged him. He said nothing, but he smiled. And that smile said more than words could have. Jihoon returned it, his bigger and brighter.

The teenagers hugged each of their families goodbye, except for Jihoon’s dad since he was the one driving. Their mothers sobbed, Bohyuk nodded awkwardly and Mr Jeon shook Jihoon’s hand a little too hard for some reason.

“I have a really good feeling about this,” Jihoon’s dad said in the car. “I think you two are going to do really, really well.”

These were the words that rang through Jihoon’s head as he walked with Wonwoo to their new room, guided by who as far as Jihoon could tell was just a random staff member. 

The two weren’t lucky enough to be sharing a room. Wonwoo was a little way down the hall, but the corridor was pretty small so Jihoon didn’t mind. It did make him nervous however to be sharing with complete strangers. Said strangers had already moved in - a suitcase lay either on or under each bed except one of two lower bunks. Jihoon was relatively relieved. He hated the top bunk with a passion.

“I’ll give you five minutes to unpack a little bit, then meet me outside and I’ll show you around the building,” the woman, whose name Jihoon had forgotten, said stiffly. She shut the door. 

Jihoon looked around at the bare, pale walls. There was one good sized window in between two bunk beds. A bedside table sat next to each bunk - except obviously for the top two which were spared a shelf instead. In the small space between the beds and the wall, there were two wardrobes. One had its door wide open to reveal a few items of clothing. Jihoon guessed they had been quickly shoved in by someone with the same instructions he had.

Jihoon opened up his smallest suitcase and pulled out his charger and his pajamas. He tucked the clothing beneath his pillow and plugged his charger in. Then he grabbed the picture frame in his case and put it on the table. It was a picture of he and Wonwoo, taken a few months prior, printed to motivate him in case he didn’t see much of his friend in their busy trainee life. 

The new trainee didn’t see the point in trying to put any clothes away just yet, so he sat down and looked around his new room. Jihoon wondered how long it would take to feel like home.

The small tour went about how you’d expect. The company building was only a two minute walk from the dorms. And within this building were countless offices before you even got anywhere near a dance studio. Jihoon and Wonwoo both got the feeling they would do nothing but get lost. 

Afterwards, they were left to their own devices. The two friends wandered around and found themselves at the practice room. 

“Oh, Jihoon!” Anhye appeared so suddenly Jihoon was convinced she teleported. “There you are. I need to introduce you to someone.”

Wonwoo stifled a laugh as Jihoon looked at him with a mix of a startled and terrified look on his face. 

“Have fun,” he smiled. 

Jihoon followed Anhye with a jog. Wonwoo tended to slow down for him, but Anhye’s long legs strutted along with her usual speed. Jihoon had a stitch by the time they came to a stop.

“Obviously your producing skills came to our attention in your final audition,” she said, “so I want you to start working with one of our main producers. He works very closely with SEVENTEEN.”

Anhye opened the door. A man spun around from his computer.

“Is this the little producer?” He asked with a smile.

“It is! Jihoon, Bumzu. Bumzu, Jihoon. I’ll leave you two to it.”

Jihoon had absolutely no idea what ‘it’ was.

“Self-taught, huh?” Bumzu asked. Jihoon nodded. “What program are you used to?”

“Just… just GarageBand.”

Bumzu beckoned Jihoon over. He walked obediently.

Jihoon gasped when he really saw the equipment at hand. Launchpad, loop pedal, so many keys and tools that it almost resembled a plane’s cockpit. Jihoon suddenly became like a child at Christmas - surrounded by so many new toys that he was desperate to play with. 

Bumzu laughed. “More than GarageBand?”

“So much more. Holy hell, this looks expensive...”

The producer turned back to his screen and pulled up a new project.

“Want a go?”

“Please. If you trust me.”

Bumzu laughed and they swapped places. Jihoon felt like he’d come home as he sat down and put the spare pair of headphones on.

First, his fingers met the launchpad. He’d always wanted to try one of these. As he hit record and started tapping in a pattern, he began to feel like that one scene in Pitch Perfect 3 where Beca found DJ Khaled’s equipment. 

Each key lit up as it was pressed. A rhythm was born. Eb, C, Eb, Eb, Eb, C, F, G… Bumzu hit the loop pedal and Jihoon took that as a cue to try out something else. He went to the keyboard, flicked it to a new setting and tried it out.

“You’re a natural,” said the producer. Jihoon went red as he started do-do-doing his way through a complementary melody. 

Bumzu gave him another minute then stopped him.

“Sorry,” Jihoon said automatically.

“No, no, you’re just getting quite far. It’s easier to create the music when you’ve got the lyrics.”

“Yeah, so-”

“We should get started on some lyrics.”

Jihoon grinned. In that moment, his fears and his nerves and even Wonwoo left his mind. He was relaxed by what he loved most. They moved over to the couch in the corner. Bumzu grabbed a notebook and suddenly the trainee yearned for his own. 

“What was that melody you had going on?”

Jihoon sang again. Bumzu nodded. Then Jihoon turned it into words.

After two hours of Jihoon humming, one of them finding some words, Bumzu going “maybe we should go deeper on the end of that line”, they had something that resembled a full set of lyrics.

“If you keep singing originals in your tests,” Bumzu said, “you’ll probably get in.”

“Tests?”

“Well, assessments. They’re how the next boy is chosen. Number nine is debuting in about two weeks, so you’ll probably be assessed a few days after that. Don’t quote me on that, I’m just the producer.”

With that knowledge, Jihoon left the guy alone. He had real work to do - he didn’t need a trainee messing everything around.

Thankfully Wonwoo was in the practice room. He wasn’t alone. Joshua was there too, the shy boy from their first audition. Jihoon felt a subtle sense of pride for him. And either best or worst of all, S.Coups (or Seungcheol by birth name) stood with them.

“Hoon!” Wonwoo called. “Seungcheol’s giving us tips. We asked. He didn’t just come over and start lecturing us, we-”

“Shut up, Wonwoo,” Jihoon said as kindly as he could.

“Thank you.” 

Seungcheol and Joshua each tried not to laugh.

“Your audition was good,” Seungcheol said to him, “you stuck out. In a good way. It was memorable.”

“Because it was your choreography?” Jihoon joked, trying very hard not to scream.

Seungcheol smiled. “Bit of both.”

“Thank you. I tried my best.”

Wonwoo punched him lightly; his way of letting him know he was proud of him.

“Anyway, I need to go,” Seungcheol said. “I’ll see you around.”

And then there were three. 

Hours later Jihoon made it back to his room and immediately set to unpacking, mostly because his roommate was putting his clothes away when he got there.

“Oh, hi!” He greeted almost perkily.

“Oh! Minghao, right?”

“Yeah, Jihoon?”

Jihoon nodded. He assumed Minghao was the one in the bed above him, since he was packing his things into the wardrobe opposite it.

As Jihoon opened his case, Minghao spoke up again.

“Can I take a drawer under your bed?”

Only then did Jihoon realise that the lower bunks had drawers under them.

“Yeah, that’s fine.”

Jihoon hung up his hoodies and the few jackets he owned. Minghao seemed to be quite fashionable - half of the cupboard was full of rather funky articles of clothing. He was already putting Jihoon to shame.

“Do you hang or fold jeans?” Jihoon asked. 

Minghao laughed. “Either, I think.” 

Jihoon folded them up with his t-shirts, sweaters and whatever else he deemed foldable and hid them in a drawer where he didn’t have to see how plain he was compared to Minghao. It was for the best.

It took a long time for Jihoon to finally fall asleep that night. His bed was comfortable enough but it wasn’t his own. He tossed and turned and cursed at his already sleeping roommates (the other two he had learned were Mingming and Samuel).

Eventually, after sending Wonwoo a text to see if he was awake, Jihoon finally fell asleep beneath the rising sun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ull begin to see most of my chapters end with falling asleep i rly need to work on it  
> anyway thank u for reading leave kudos share w pals comment n all that jazz  
> lov u bye


	4. rubick's cube

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok this is half unknown territory and everythings flaring up so im too tired to actually proof im sorry enjoy

Jihoon was exhausted already and he was only five days in. Vocal lessons, dancing lessons, and for him especially, producing lessons. He was beginning to feel more than a little bit dead. To top it all off, he’d barely spoken to Wonwoo. It was the least amount of time he’d spent with him since they met a good fifteen years ago.

Now Jihoon had some free time. He couldn’t find his friend, so he headed to the studio instead. Bumzu wasn’t there. Luckily, he had permission to mess around by himself so that’s what he did.

He opened up the song they’d started on his first day. The basics of the instrumental were pretty much done, giving them a good demo to work from. Now it was time to build upon it. 

Jihoon hit play and spun on his chair as he listened, trying to find inspiration within it. 

“Hey, Bumzu?”

That obviously wasn’t Jihoon’s name but he spun around anyway.

“Oh, not Bumzu,” said the guy at the door. Jihoon wanted to stab himself. It was Seungcheol. It had to be, didn’t it?

Jihoon fell on the desk trying to pause his music. He almost deleted a couple of his layers in the process - he was very relieved the bass was still there by the time his demo stopped. The one time he didn’t have headphones in…

“Hey, why the fuss?” Seungcheol laughed. “Is that your song?”

“Uh, yeah,” Jihoon kept his back to him, “been working on it since I got here with Bumzu.”

“It sounds good. Has it got a name?”

Jihoon nodded. “Oh My.”

“In your assessment, if they catch onto that song they’ll probably debut you. Your dance was great in your audition-”

“Aren’t you just saying that because it was your choreography?”

Seungcheol laughed. He denied anything of the sort.

Jihoon’s phone buzzed. And on a day full of joyful coincidences, it was a day he’d left his phone off of silent. The chorus of ‘Thanks’ filled the quiet. Jihoon felt Seungcheol’s gaze and dropped his head against the desk.

“I have no idea who Seventeen are,” Jihoon lied as he felt his ears go red. “Fuck knows whose phone that is.”

“Who’s calling?” The idol asked, trying his best not to laugh through the awkwardness. He wasn’t used to being an idol yet and was almost as embarrassed as Jihoon was.

“I can’t say. It just makes this worse.”

It was his mum. He rejected the call and sat up. Jihoon apologised, Seungcheol insisted it was fine, apologised for interrupting his work, then it was Jihoon’s turn to insist that it was fine. Really, it was. Anyone else he would’ve been annoyed at, but there was something about Seungcheol that made it all alright.

“Not to sound cocky but…” Seungcheol grabbed a seat, “is the group why you auditioned?”

“No,” Jihoon insisted/snapped, “well… kind of. It pushed me to it. Mostly I’m only here so my friend would have the guts to be here.”

“Wonwoo?”

“Wonwoo.”

Seungcheol nodded knowingly. He stared at the floor with his mouth agape for a moment or two, like he was carefully picking words to say. Jihoon only looked at his lips and how plump they were and how soft they looked… 

“I’ll leave you in peace,” Seungcheol said finally, “sorry for interrupting.”

Jihoon was quick to smile at him. “It’s fine. Hope you find Bumzu.”

Then Seungcheol was gone and Jihoon was alone. He got to work so that he wasn't thinking about how much he had enjoyed that little bit of company.

So Jihoon worked harder than he ever had before. Bumzu found him three hours later.

“I’m done,” Jihoon said. “I just need the vocals touched up.”

Bumzu looked blankly at him as he chucked a Rubick’s cube from hand to hand. “You aren’t done until I say you are.”

“Oh. Okay. Can you, uh… listen? Please? I think I’m done.”

Bumzu sat with him, placed the headphones on and pressed play. Jihoon watched his reaction carefully. After what Seungcheol said, he felt like his career depended on this. The head producer remained blank. Jihoon’s anxiety levels crept up. He watched him fiddle with the Rubick’s cube. As the chorus ended, Bumzu finally began to actually solve the thing. 

Suddenly, Jihoon stopped the track.

“I want that in it,” he said.

“What?”

“The Rubick’s cube. I want the slidey noises. Like, the sound of it being twisted and turned. Just at the start.”

Bumzu nodded and grinned. “Okay.”

So it was fifteen minutes later that they finally heard the (almost) final product. All they had left to do was Jihoon’s real vocals, rather than the demo.

“You’ve done good, kid,” Bumzu grinned. He held his hand out. Now it was Jihoon staring blankly. Then he realised he was meant to shake it. So shake it he did.

Jihoon came running into dorms hours later. Oh My was completely finished and Jihoon was ecstatic. He flung the door open, saw Wonwoo lounging on his bed and threw himself at him.

“I did it! I’ve finished a whole song with Bumzu! We’re going to touch up What Kind Of Future tomorrow but- hey, are you okay?”

Wonwoo looked to be in a daze. He was trying his best to listen to Jihoon and be excited for him but… nothing.

“Yeah. Fine.”

“Wonwoo? No one else is here. You can talk to me.”

His best friend sighed. “It’s just… everyone’s better. I’m worse than I thought. I’m catching on slower, my vocals are shit and-”

“Oh, shut up,” Jihoon whined, “you’re doing great-”

“No. I’m not.” Wonwoo looked like he was about to cry. “Sorry, sorry. Tell me about your session with Bumzu.”

Jihoon shook his head. “No, it’s okay. You know, if you have time tomorrow, you should join us. And Won? I’m really proud of you already.”

Wonwoo said yes to be polite, but really, he didn’t want to. He needed to practice. He needed to debut, and he wasn’t good enough yet. There were only three boys after next week and the competition was tough. Right now, Wonwoo didn’t stand a chance. Jihoon disagreed but there was no point arguing. Wonwoo wouldn’t have any of it.

They sat in a rather depressed silence for too long. Joshua (now one of Wonwoo’s roommates) came in and gave them a very baffled look, which Jihoon took as his cue to leave. 

Jihoon was more hurt than he expected. Before, Wonwoo always managed to act happy for him even when he was feeling down. So now, Jihoon was upset that Wonwoo had turned what Jihoon saw as important to him as a way to rant about his own struggle. Or maybe he was being self absorbed. 

When Seungcheol said if Jihoon kept at it, he could debut soon, it had inspired him. As he lay in bed, it became more and more clear that Jihoon really did want to be the next boy. He wanted to be an idol. Looking back, it was obvious. He’d been singing since he could talk. Wonwoo gave Jihoon the boost he needed to get over his fear of fame and Jihoon gave Wonwoo the confidence to audition. This was their dream now. Jihoon wanted to debut with his best friend.

Jihoon woke up early - not by choice, he just couldn't fall asleep again. It was still dark out. He got dressed using his phone’s flashlight so as to not wake up his roommates (Mingming was the lightest sleeper Jihoon had ever known) and padded down the hallway to Wonwoo’s door. He knocked softly before entering. 

Both boys in the room were asleep. Jihoon realised then that he envied Wonwoo - he was one of the few trainees who only had a single roommate. Most had four in a room.

Jihoon edged to the left. He stared for a solid thirty seconds to be sure he didn’t wake up the wrong person. Then he gently shook Wonwoo awake.

“Mm? Five more minutes.”

“Do you want to feel more confident?” Jihoon asked, a little too loud. “The practice room will be empty. We can go together.”

“Shut up,” said the bundle of blankets from behind Jihoon.

“I’ll meet you outside, Won,” he said, quieter this time, “be quick so I don’t have to wake Josh up again too.”

Five minutes later, the door opened and a drowsy looking Wonwoo appeared. His glasses were lopsided and fell in the opposite direction to which his hair stuck out. Black trackies and an oversized t-shirt had been pulled on in a haste with his shoelaces undone. Jihoon didn’t let them set off until Wonwoo had tied them.

The hallways were dark and the only sound was their feet. They were quite eerie at 4am, but they were nothing compared to the street. A stray cat was enough to almost give the half asleep Wonwoo a heart attack.

Thankfully, they were at the company building before a cat managed to kill them both. All the lights were on. The idols and some trainees often worked at all hours. It surprised Jihoon when the dance studio was empty. Neither had ever been in alone before. It almost felt like they weren’t allowed to be there.

Jihoon started. He shuffled his music and if something was lacking a (known) choreography, he freestyled. Wonwoo followed: slowly at first for his body hadn’t quite woken up yet. But then eventually he got going too. 

When he struggled, he stood and stared at his friend’s reflection in the mirror. The younger was quick to latch onto this, and took as much time as he needed to guide him through the moves, how to be elegant, how to be sharp, how to be such a perfect in between that they might as well have owned Red Velvet’s Psycho.

As the sun began to rise, Wonwoo grew slower once more but Jihoon sped up. Wonwoo told him to continue and walked into the corner of the room where pillows were neatly stacked. He shuffled them across the floor. Then the trainee lay down and was asleep within seconds. Jihoon turned the music down for him.

Someone’s laptop sat at the back of the room. Jihoon moved it to the mirror and typed into YouTube. He fancied something new. He pulled up Seungkwan’s Mansae (Mirrored) and got going. Although he knew it was best to slow it down and do section by section, he just put it on repeat and went for it.

The door opened but Jihoon only noticed when Seungcheol entered his eyeline. He stopped shyly.

“You always show up, don’t you?” He tried to laugh.

Seungcheol smiled in response. “I guess I do.”

Jihoon stood rigid. He was both in awe and intimidated by the man who inspired him. And Seungcheol apparently looked really good in the mornings. That should be illegal probably.

“Don’t let me stop you,” Seungcheol encouraged, “keep going.”

Jihoon shook his head. “I’m not confident with it. Uh, do you know it?”

“Oh, um, only a little.”

“Could you help?”

Seungcheol blinked. He pulled his phone out, checked the time, did some rough calculations in his head and then nodded.

“Yeah, I’ve got until eight for you.”

Jihoon beamed.

As Seungcheol walked to the laptop to restart the song, he caught eye of Wonwoo in the corner. He smiled almost fondly.

“What time did you two get up?” He asked.

“4am.”

Seungcheol chuckled. “God.” He almost added that he did it several times as well, but he was extremely worried he was coming across as arrogant, so he took to loosely showing Jihoon the ropes of the choreography.

Jihoon was a quick learner, as Seungcheol figured from his audition. Jihoon was fairly confident with it by the time Seungcheol had to go (to watch over boy 9’s filming, apparently). 

“You should use that in your assessment,” he said before he left, “keep touching it up. Oh, hi Wonwoo. Bye Wonwoo. See you, Hoon.”

Jihoon turned around to where his friend was stirring. Wonwoo rubbed his eyes and yawned. He got up, stretched, and restacked the cushions.

“Why was S.Coups here?”

“He popped in,” Jihoon explained, “so I asked him to help me. I can teach you Mansae if you like.”

Wonwoo yawned again. Then he nodded. Then he suppressed another yawn.

“When’s our assessment?” He asked.

Jihoon checked his phone’s calendar. “10th September. We’ve got two weeks.”

Wonwoo looked nervous already.

“Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok thank u for reading leave kudos n comment so i dont lose motivation it rly means a lot  
> love u bye


	5. be weird if it was a date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I ACTUALLY PROOFED THIS ITS A MIRACLE ENJOY

Bumzu was spinning on his chair. Jihoon stood with his arms folded, awaiting his final verdict of their song. They’d already decided they were done but the professional always liked to triple check.

“Get Hoshi here.”

“What?”

“You know Hoshi? Boy 7, I think he was. Choreographer. If he can do that for you, it would be a massive benefit in your assessment.”

Jihoon looked a little caught off guard. “So it’s done?”

“Yeah. Hoshi’s probably in the dance studio near the canteen. Go.”

The trainee stood still, his feet planted firmly on the ground.

“Isn’t that unfair though? To the other trainees, I mean.”

Bumzu frowned. “You’ve made your own song, Jihoon. It’s already unfair. But I’d say it to anyone else. Might take him weeks anyway. Go.”

So Jihoon turned around and headed towards the canteen. He still felt a twang of guilt. No one else was receiving these benefits. He looked like he was being favoured when he wasn’t anything special. He didn’t want a massive boost ahead of Wonwoo.

Sure enough, Hoshi was in the dance studio. Jihoon looked through the glass door for a moment. He wore jeans, a plain tee and checked shirt but somehow he still managed to give a cool vibe. Sat on the floor against the wall, Hoshi was totally engrossed in his phone, looked extremely confused and a little concerned. Jihoon knocked.

“Bumzu wants you,” Jihoon said. Hoshi looked a little more confused. 

“Oh. Okay.”

Jihoon waited and then the two walked together.

“Are you a trainee?” Hoshi broke the silence. Jihoon nodded. “New?” Jihoon nodded. “How long?”

“A week.”

Hoshi awwed. “A baby!”

Jihoon asked for his training period and was surprised when he replied with two years. He thought the company was newer than that.

When they made it to Bumzu’s studio (Universe Factory, he called it), the producer asked for Hoshi’s phone. He connected it to a USB and clicked a few buttons. A couple minutes later, he handed it back.

“Jihoon and I wrote that song. If you could choreograph it, that would be great. The group could do with this kid and an extra assessment push won’t do any harm.”

“I’m not taking credit for this, am I?” Jihoon checked.

“No,” Bumzu said, taking a swig of his pepsi, “not unless you’re a dick.” 

“So I have seven days to choreograph and teach this to Jihoon,” Hoshi confirmed.

“Whoa, Jesus, I can’t debut that quick, can I?”

Bumzu and Hoshi looked at him. 

“Jun trained for a day,” Hoshi said.

Jihoon shut up.

Before they left, Jihoon cleared his throat to say something. Bumzu looked at him with raised eyebrows.

“Wonwoo can write,” the boy said. “He’s especially good at raps. If you’re boosting me, please boost him too.”

For the second time that day, Jihoon left Universe Factory to the dance studio. This studio was almost the same size as the main practice room, but far more aesthetically pleasing with cream walls covered by one massive drape. It was where the dance practices were filmed, Jihoon noted.

Hoshi sighed. “I’ll do this for you, but I’m not teaching it to you unless you’re chosen by your own accord. As a trainee we hated any suspected bias-”

“That’s fine,” Jihoon said. “I don’t want you to. I want my friend in first. I don’t want any more boosts ahead of him. My producing’s enough of a benefit. I’ll do a cover.”

Hoshi looked relieved. 

They stood like a couple of lemons for a minute or so before anyone said something. It was Hoshi who piped up.

“Do you want to go for lunch?”

Jihoon blinked. Why? He accepted, though. He was hungry.

Hoshi (or Soonyoung as he told Jihoon he could call him) led the way. Jihoon had no idea where they were going. He suspected Soonyoung wasn’t too sure either.

It was weird to Jihoon that he’d watched this group from afar, and already he was getting almost friendly with two of the members - one of which was the one who got him interested in the group in the first place. He wondered when it would stop feeling surreal, if ever.

They came out of a backroad and onto a pretty, open street. Jihoon had never seen this side of Gangnam before. He’d only ever been to the bustling areas where you constantly felt like you were about to choke from the pollution and would kill to see a tree rather than grey buildings donning neon signs. There was green in this street, though. Small sections of it (with trees!) lined the edge of the pavement. It was more of an Instagram aesthetic than where he’d seen before.

Soonyoung pushed open the door to a cafe. He held it open for the trainee. The cafe was also surprisingly aesthetic. The chairs and walls were a dark oak, the floors white and the tables black marble. It looked expensive. Jihoon hoped he had his card in his wallet and not still in his suitcase. He was never one to carry much cash.

“I’m meant to be on a diet,” Soonyoung sighed, “so I think I’ll have cake.” 

Jihoon laughed. He treated himself too. As he went to pay though, Soonyoung stopped him.

“I invited you out, didn’t I?” He said, “it’s my treat.”

Jihoon’s ears flushed a furious red.

The two sat by the window and watched people go by as they ate.

“How is it?” Soonyoung asked.

“Hm?”

“Training.”

Jihoon quickly swallowed his food. “Uh.. it’s okay. My legs hurt though.”

Soonyoung chuckled fondly. “I bet you’re hungry, too. I always feel sorry for the new ones. They’ve got a lot to adjust to. It doesn’t really change.”

It was true. Jihoon’s stomach was hurting and he was constantly ready to climb into bed, but he was managing to convince himself that he was getting used to it.

“Is that why you took me out?”

Soonyoung was weirdly quick to nod. Jihoon was grateful but felt a twang of guilt for not being able to treat Wonwoo too.

They made more small talk, like how old they each were and where they came from. Jihoon already knew this about Soonyoung thanks to Mr Fanboy Wonwoo, but it would’ve been creepy to go “I know” at everything. So whilst Soonyoung was shocked that they were the same age, Jihoon had to fake a mirrored surprise.

His cake was gone before long. He was offered more food and Jihoon politely declined even though he could’ve eaten for hours straight. Although he did buy Wonwoo a slice of cake to take away before they left, which Soonyoung also tried to pay for. Jihoon didn’t let him. He clutched the box gently but tightly and headed back to the company.

Jihoon thanked Soonyoung again, and another time just for sure, bowed a little too formally, said thank you again, and then went to look for Wonwoo.

He tried his room first but only Joshua was there. Jihoon said a quick hello and asked if he knew where Wonwoo was. He didn’t, but guessed the practice room.

“It’s where he is ninety per cent of the time,” Joshua said, “he’s working really hard.”

As Jihoon set off once more he realised that Wonwoo really was about to end up with a bad dancing to vocals ratio. But hey, at least he would be a fantastic dancer by the time he debuted. And there was always rapping.

Sure enough, Jihoon found his best friend in the practice room. He was chugging water as beads of sweat dripped down his face. His hair was pushed right back, his glasses abandoned next to his sweater. He looked exhausted. Anyone could see he was in a whole other bubble to the trainees that surrounded him.

“Hey,” Jihoon greeted. “I got you something.”

Wonwoo shook his head. “I can’t now, Hoon-”

“Sit the fuck down and eat some cake,” he spoke more sternly now. Wonwoo stared with an unreadable expression. Finally he sat down. Jihoon handed the cake over and sat beside him.

Wonwoo ate hastily. He made a bit of a mess but neither really cared. He had to get it down quickly anyway - it was a miracle no one had confiscated it from Jihoon.

“Where did you go?” Wonwoo asked, “for this I mean.”

“Some cute cafe with Hoshi.”

Wonwoo choked. “What?”

“Yeah. We, uh… we met and he felt bad for me being a starving trainee so…”

“Oh. The way you said it at first made it sound like a date.” With that, Wonwoo took in his last mouthful of his sweet treat.

Jihoon frowned. “It wasn’t a date, that would be weird.”

“I guess,” Wonwoo licked his fingers before standing up again. “Wanna join?”

“Dude, you’ll get a stitch. Or throw up. Or both.”

“So?”

If Jihoon argued, Wonwoo would argue twice as loud. So he left it. He let Wonwoo do his thing and sure enough, Wonwoo complained that his side was killing him thirty minutes later.

Time swallowed Jihoon whole. He’d slacked off for his first week and skipped classes, but Jihoon hoped his producing skills would make up for it and provide the benefit Bumzu kept promising him. He and Bumzu continued to write, he honed his skills and he managed to drag Wonwoo in once or twice. Bumzu was keen on his rap style and tried his best to encourage him. Wonwoo just looked terrified the whole time. Maybe that was why he was hyperfocused on the dance. 

When Jihoon wasn’t in the studio, he was in lessons. Dance, of course, but also vocals and even English and etiquettes here and there. Some evenings they had small evaluations to check how they were progressing. During these evaluations all tiny flaws were pointed out and so the hours after were spent correcting them to be “the best they could be”. Once a week they were weighed and assigned a diet. To top it off, they had to work out each day as if dance wasn’t enough.

Jihoon ended his days with every bone aching. He went out like a light. He only got about four hours sleep at most and he valued them greatly. Sometimes he slept later because he was wondering what the hell he had done. But then he would dream of being an idol with Wonwoo and it would all feel worth it again when he woke up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> currently writing ch13 isnt that sexy of me  
> ok love u bye


	6. dino stan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is like 25% proofed i read through some the other day for ref in the chapter i was writing at that point (idk what it was im on ch17 now) n was happy with it so ive skimmed throuhg and Yes

On the 9th September, boy 9 debuted. His name was Mingyu and he was the talk of the company. He had charming, puppy-like features and apparently stood at the grand height of 6’2. His song was Call, Call, Call and his colour was purple. Although S.Coups’ animal was a dog, Mingyu’s was specifically a golden retriever. Twitter went crazy over the lore that that introduced - some fans decided S.Coups was now looking to be the group’s leader because he clearly had control over Mingyu here. Jihoon didn’t even understand the lore. He hoped it would be explained if he was chosen.

Jihoon and Wonwoo only just had time to listen to the new song and its side track (Like The Beginning) because word had just gotten out that they had their infamous assessment that night. Tomorrow the next boy would be announced. It was probably safe to say that every male trainee felt sick.

As much as Jihoon was rooting for Wonwoo, he’d gotten it into his head that Minghao would be next. He may have been timid and terrified in the waiting room a few weeks ago,but his dancing was unmatched. He was probably the new source of Wonwoo’s insecurities. They were certainly the source of Jihoon’s. Although Minghao’s expertise clearly lay in b-boying, he could also be so elegant that Jihoon was half convinced he did ballet as a child. Every evening he told his roommate he was doing well. Even the staff had an eye on him.

A rumour was flying around that they were rigged. The dorms were set up in a particular order and they showed who would debut. Wonwoo was secretly very worked up about this but Jihoon was that annoying person who claimed bullshit at anything he didn’t like to hear. There were three boys left and they knew very well that they weren’t in a three member dorm. It didn’t help that the few that were donned gorgeous faces.

Soonyoung cropped up again. How was it that these idols just appeared? He reached for Jihoon’s hand, one behind his back, then stopped as a staff member walked past. He burst into small talk and edged closer. The trainee felt something behind him. He fumbled around with his hand and found that Soonyoung was handing over a box. When it was clear, the idol smiled and rushed off. 

Soonyoung seemed a little keen on Jihoon. They’d been out for lunch once more since last time. He caught up to him in the hallways and always tried to get a conversation out of him. He laughed a lot at anything Jihoon said. The boy assumed he was just being nice and ignored the thought that he wasn’t like this to any other trainee.

The box was a slice of cake from the cafe from a week ago. Jihoon couldn’t help but smile. He made a mental note to thank him later.

Immediately Jihoon made his way to the dorms. He slipped into Wonwoo’s room. He was talking with Joshua. It wasn’t in Jihoon’s original plans to share with Joshua as well, but he wasn’t about to be a dick over a slice of cake so he invited both of them to dig in. A treat for the nerves.

They didn’t eat anything else. Wonwoo threw up the cake anyway - he’d never been so afraid in his life. There were only three slots left. What if his parents were right? He didn’t want to have to admit to that. He wanted to achieve his dream.

Joshua was coping the best out of the three of them. He just constantly looked like his brain was blasting elevator music. Nevertheless he pulled the other two together and did his best to reassure them.

The assessments were in the afternoon. It turned out to be much like their usual evaluations, but they had to sing/rap a full song, dance to a full song, and do the two together to examine stability. There were more people at this one as well. Even Jeonghan was there. He watched so intently that even his bones felt exposed. 

Jihoon’s original did seem to impress them. Bumzu looked a little confused though. Probably by the lack of a choreography. Instead, Jihoon’s dancing/stability was promoted through Mansae.

Luckily, he was happy enough by how it went. It could’ve been better but it could’ve been a lot, lot worse. He still expected Minghao to get in though.

Jihoon felt more relieved when he got back to Wonwoo after his assessment. He wasn’t crying. He looked okay. Jihoon sat with him and asked how it went. His friend thought for a moment before speaking.

“It was fine, I think. Not enough to get me in but… I don’t think I’ll be kicked out,” Wonwoo said with a small smile. “They stopped my singing though. Bumzu did. He asked me to rap.”

“And was that okay?”

“Yeah,” he sounded surprised by his own answer, “I was actually more comfortable.”

Jihoon filled with pride for his friend. It was rare to see him “happy” with himself. He guessed the lack of support from his parents got to his head and he only saw what they saw: the son who wasn’t good enough.

They were given a few free hours between the assessments and dinner. It was okay for some - Jihoon and Wonwoo were some of the first so they had several hours, whilst poor Joshua was only going to get 30 minutes to breathe in between. Jihoon had no idea about Minghao. He was curious to see how he did.

Jihoon took Wonwoo to the cafe with the nice cake. They almost got lost - Jihoon had only been once - but finally they made it to completely ignore their assigned diets until they both felt sick once again. They had about three slices each.

Seungcheol was sitting on the Pledis steps when the two got back. Jihoon couldn’t tell whether or not he cared to see them. Maybe he was longing for him to be pleased by their sudden appearance.

“Hey,” Seungcheol smiled, “how are you two feeling?” The trainees looked at each other and the idol chuckled. “I’m not sure if it makes it better or worse to know that you don’t have to train for a long time to join.”

“What was your time?” Jihoon asked. Wonwoo mumbled one month just as Seungcheol said it. He went bright red as the idol looked at him. 

“He really loves the group,” Jihoon said with a playfully evil glance at Wonwoo.

“Okay, but your bias is literally Seungcheol,” Wonwoo shot back. Jihoon hid his face with his hands and himself behind Wonwoo. Now Seungcheol was going red.

After an awkward “anyway” and a nod towards the door, Wonwoo and Jihoon passed the idol and went inside, but this wasn’t before Jihoon could ask him to “tell Dino that Wonwoo loves him”. Now they both wanted to die.

“I think they’re checking us out,” Wonwoo said suspiciously. “They’re all quite close to trainees. Like, physically. They keep popping up. Did you notice Jun in our dance class?”

Jihoon nodded in agreement. It felt like when you saw a Club Penguin celebrity like Rockhopper when you spotted the members around. It made sense though - any of them could be their future members. 

“To be fair, I only know Hoshi because Bumzu introduced us,” he said.

“Why?”

Jihoon felt that pang of guilt again. “He wanted him to choreograph my song. We both said no though. It’s not fair on the other trainees.”

“Yeah. Was that when you went to lunch?”

“Yep.”

They went back to Wonwoo’s room as per usual. Joshua was there already, as per usual. He wasn’t usually crying though. Jihoon backed against the door. He was far too awkward for this with far too little social skills. However, Wonwoo wasn’t terrible at it. He sat down with him and let the boy cry into his arm.

“I fucked it.”

“I’m sure you didn’t-”

Joshua shook his head. “I could barely get any words out. I forgot the dance a-and I wouldn’t be surprised if they kicked me out and-”

“You’re too pretty to be kicked out, Josh,” sighed Jihoon.

Wonwoo looked at him. “I don’t know how much that helps.”

“Hey, no one said I was good at this.”

Joshua just shook his head. As he wiped his eyes, Wonwoo handed him a tissue.

“There’s always next time.”

Jihoon began to wish that Wonwoo spoke to himself this kindly. It would make both of their lives so much easier.

It was safe to say no trainee slept well that night, if at all. Jihoon’s was spent murmuring to Minghao whilst their other roommate, Mingming, told them to shut up. He couldn’t sleep even if it was silent anyway. Not tonight.

Wonwoo threw his breakfast up. History likes to repeat itself after all. Jihoon rubbed his back and they thought it safer to avoid going back to eat. They sat on the floor of a quiet hallway instead.

“So… got your bets on anyone?” Wonwoo asked.

“Yeah. Minghao.”

Wonwoo hummed in agreement. “His dancing is pretty insane.”

At 6pm (what felt like weeks later) all trainees gathered in the hall. Seats pointed towards a space at the front of the room where the SEVENTEEN members stood around chatting. Mingyu held an envelope. 

“I wonder if Dino knows you love him yet,” Jihoon whispered to Wonwoo. They received odd looks from Minghao and Joshua.

Apparently the tradition was the most recent addition to the group was the one who did the speaking. The rest were there for display. Seungcheol put his hand on Mingyu’s back and shoved him forward. The boy cleared his throat. Heads turned.

“Um. Hi,” MIngyu started. “You all know why you’re here. We understand that each one of you has been working extremely hard to become the best you can be to debut. We were like you once too. If you’re not chosen, please remember that it’s an extremely tough process to choose our next member. Many great people miss out each month. You have two more attempts after this, so don’t give up. With all of that said…” Mingyu opened up the envelope at last. It was already unsealed for convenience.

“Our next boy, the tenth, and representing October, will be…” Mingyu unfolded the paper for added tension, “Lee Jihoon.”

Wonwoo’s jaw dropped. He stared at his best friend in awe. Minghao nudged his arm and Joshua patted him on the back. 

Jihoon didn’t feel anything. He was in shock. It was almost impossible to move as others applauded. Mingyu called out that everyone was now free to leave but Jihoon must stay behind. His best friend’s arms were wrapped around him in the tightest hug he’d ever received. He told him that he was proud of him and his parents will be too, and that he’ll show the other boys how it’s done. It all went over Jihoon’s head.

He walked partway to the door with Wonwoo, who hugged him again for a full thirty seconds. Then he was told to go, and Wonwoo shoved Jihoon towards the group behind him. And then Wonwoo was gone. 

Jihoon turned around. Never before had he felt so vulnerable, like he was being judged, sized up. What if they didn’t like him? His feet moved him towards them despite his fears.

“Welcome to SEVENTEEN, kiddo,” Seungcheol grinned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
> love u bye


	7. welcome

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING IN SO LONG my laptop broke and ive only just been allowed round my dads so im on his computer rn yeehaw  
> im writing slower too bc im far less productive on my phone so slower updates whilst i try pull myself together

“Welcome to SEVENTEEN, kiddo,” Seungcheol grinned.

It must have suddenly hit him because Jihoon began to cry. Although he wanted this, he never really believed that he would get there. He anticipated a fantasy and nothing more. His face crumpled and tears fell all at once. Jeonghan was quick to scoop him up.

“Hey, hey, hey,” he said gently, rubbing his back in a calming manner, “it’s okay. Are you just shocked?”

“It’s alright, I cried too,” Seungkwan reassured him.

“Like a baby,” Jeonghan laughed softly. He let go of the boy in his arms who wiped his tears with the back of his hand. Dokyeom found a packet of tissues in his pocket and handed one to Jihoon. He took it gratefully.

Once he’d mopped himself up, his new members asked a little bit about him. His age and where he was from, whether he rapped or sang and what his favourite solo was. He answered each question being darted at him. 18, outskirts of Seoul, singing, and either Thanks or Very Nice, but Don’t Wanna Cry was nice too. Seungcheol, Dokyeom and Vernon attempted an awkward three way high five. Jeonghan was pleased to see that it made Jihoon laugh.

From the corner of his eye, Jihoon could see Soonyoung beaming proudly. But Seungcheol wore a similar look so he brushed it off.

Seungcheol walked with him to the dorms after their quick bonding session. He needed to move his things over. Luckily, he’d barely had time to unpack so he was ready within ten minutes.

“Can I speak to Wonwoo?” Jihoon asked, “only for a minute. In case I don’t have time to see him for a while.”

The idol nodded and said it was fine. Jihoon left his suitcases outside and entered without knocking.

“Hey, superstar,” Joshua exclaimed. Wonwoo was staring blankly at a wall but jumped into action when his roommate spoke.

“I feel like I’m entering The Hunger Games,” Jihoon admitted. They both laughed.

Wonwoo smiled fondly. “I’m really proud of you, Hoon.”

“Try to be the next boy, Won,” Jihoon replied. He added no offence to Joshua.

“There’s always 12th,” he said.

Wonwoo promised he’d work hard only to be shot back with a “but not too hard” and “remember to take it easy sometimes”. He rolled his eyes but agreed.

“You’re better than you think,” Jihoon told him quietly. “You’ll do well. I promise.”

He left the dorm and turned back to Seungcheol. Jihoon took a suitcase but Seungcheol refused to let him take the other, grabbing the handle himself instead.

They chatted as they walked. Seungcheol was very keen to learn more about the boy. It reminded him of Soonyoung.

These new dorms were a twenty minute walk in the opposite direction to the Pledis building. It would probably take a while to stop turning left instead of right. It would probably take a while to find his way at all, actually, as they seemed to have turned down a lane on a whole street of possible turn offs. They walked for a few minutes down this rather dull little street.

“Welcome home,” Seungcheol said as he suddenly stopped. Jihoon walked into him.

They stood outside a rather neat, moderate sized modern-ish house. A concrete square fenced off formed almost a front patio, where the only decoration was two white benches. There was a raised grass garden that fronted one room of the house. A few steps lead the way to it. Another small staircase led to the front door, which was white and made of mostly glass. The building itself was mostly pale bricks with decorative chalky blocks lining a corner here and there. Some of the said blocks sported overgrown plants. Square windows were dotted about, mostly above the white panels.

Jihoon followed Seungcheol up the steps, who continued to carry his luggage after bickering about it for at least twenty seconds.

“There’s eight rooms,” Seungcheol said, “there is one you could have to yourself but the company prefers to just fill them up as we go. Member bonding and all that.”

So Jihoon moved in with Mingyu. The room was fairly small with two black raised beds. You climbed in by three blocked steps. The ledge that stopped you from falling out raised up to the ceiling, for some reason. It was kind of cool. Beneath the actual bed was storage space where Jihoon began to unpack. Mingyu helped. They tucked the suitcases on the floor of the wardrobe and folded things on top before hanging up his jeans and dress shirts. Mingyu lined up his shoes by the door. Turned out he liked things to be neat.

“Are you nervous?” Mingyu asked. “Your hands are shaking.”

“Terrified,” admitted Jihoon. Mingyu smiled.

“I was too. It gets a little easier. So far, anyway.”

Jihoon suddenly remembered he only debuted yesterday. “Oh, congratulations on your debut.” Mingyu went red and shyly thanked him.

They finished unpacking and Jihoon set up his things on his side of the shelf. This shelf was the same as the bedframes and ran across the wall between each bed. He plugged in his phone charger and neatly placed his deodorant down with a notebook full of lyrics. Inspiration struck at 3am sometimes. Jihoon took note of the little lava lantern on the floor for these instances.

“Have you eaten?” Mingyu asked.

“I’m not hungry.”

His new friend frowned. “You should still eat.”

“I feel a bit sick to be honest, Gyu.”

Mingyu shook his head. He hovered for a moment before leaving the room. When he returned he was holding a plate of plain toast. He handed it to Jihoon who thanked him quietly. He sat on his new bed and nibbled away.

“We have a table booked for half seven,” Mingyu said, “so I hope you’ll feel well enough to eat out. And then we’re going to a karaoke bar. I’ll warn you though, it gets loud. You know Seungkwan? And Dokyeom and Hoshi? Yeah.”

Jihoon finished his toast and felt good enough, so he climbed down and found something to wear that wasn’t athletic wear. Mingyu was already looking ready to go in dark skinny jeans and a tucked in t-shirt. Now he was just looking for a jacket. He turned around as Jihoon slipped on a buttoned up checked shirt with black jeans. He finished the outfit with a cap and slippers.

“Ready, next boy?” Mingyu asked.

“I think so.”

Mingyu opened the door. He gave Jihoon a small tour of the house. He only pointed out where anyone’s rooms were since some members were probably getting changed.

The front door opened up to a hallway which had several doors on either side, like a maze. One went into a kitchen/living room combo, which also had a mirror, sofa and a TV. The kitchen was plain, pale oak with a dark table separating the kitchen to the rest of the room. There were two bathrooms - one upstairs, one downstairs. Around the back was a second living room with big enough sofas to accommodate all the members. A glass door led the way to the garden. A handful of the members were there already waiting to go: Vernon, Chan, Jun and Dokyeom. Mingyu sat down whilst Jihoon awkwardly stood by the wall. It gave him a chance to look around. 

The room was very pale, its colour scheme simply white and grey. Two good sized sofas and a few bean bags decorated the place. The walls were bare apart from a TV mounted on the wall. It seemed as though they had all recently moved in. Or maybe they never got the chance to decorate. There was a coffee table placed in the centre on top of a beige rug. This was the busiest spot: sheets of paper both plain and covered in doodles as well as lyrics covered the surface. A cup or two acted as a paperweight for some of these sheets.

“You can sit down,” Vernon said. Jihoon jumped. How long would it take for him to feel comfortable here? Right now, he was nothing but a fish out of water. He was already sorely missing having Wonwoo just down the hall.

Jihoon sat down on the edge of a sofa beside Dokyeom. He stared so hard at the floor that it was like he was practicing telekinesis skills and was longing for the floorboards to rise up.

“I don’t think even Chan looked as scared as you when he joined,” Jeonghan said as he appeared, “and he’s a literal baby.”

Jihoon’s eyes widened as he had flashbacks to when Wonwoo was rambling over the boy’s debut.

“Jesus, you’re like sixteen right?”

Chan sighed and nodded. “You can save the ‘drink your milk and go to bed’ jokes.”

“Only if you drink your milk and go to bed,” tried Jihoon. Chan looked exhausted but Jeonghan grinned.

Eventually all ten boys were ready to go. They split into two cars - Seungcheol driving one and Jeonghan the other. Jihoon got in with Seungcheol’s car because it had the three he was the most comfortable with so far: Seungcheol (obviously), Mingyu and Soonyoung. Dokyeom was there too. They got together like a house on fire and almost gave Jihoon a headache. He found Soonyoung a little endearing though, however goofy he was. 

Dinner was just as loud. They forced Jihoon to sit at the head of the table where they all could see him. When he asked if Mingyu should get some spotlight too, since he had debuted a day prior, they revealed this was their second group dinner in a row. It had become a tradition. They only did the karaoke for the new boy though.

There wasn’t a single moment where they weren’t trying to chat to Jihoon, get him to open up, like they were trying to force him to grow comfortable with them all. It was nice and Jihoon did appreciate it, but really he just wanted some time alone. He only had a bowl of rice to eat and mostly he just shoved it around with his chopsticks. 

Jeonghan paid the bill and the large group left. Jihoon’s head was beginning to ache and he felt more nauseous than before. His head began to spin as they entered the building. Seungcheol noticed the boy sway and put his hand on his shoulder.

“If you want us to go back, that’s okay,” he told him. Jihoon insisted he was fine. Seungcheol frowned but took his word for it.

The room booked was large and tables surrounded a screen on the wall. Everyone took their place on the seats, Jihoon pushed into the middle. They asked him to start first. The boy shook his head and Seungcheol spoke up for him.

“I think we need to reel him into it,” he said. Jihoon shot him a grateful smile.

Dokyeom and Seungkwan kicked it off with a dramatic duet. It had everyone in peels of laughter - even Jihoon managed to crack a few smiles. Hoshi followed, knocking out the major extroverts very quickly. Vernon then performed a rap song that he’d never even heard before - the room exploded when he achieved 84 points from it. By this point they had all left their seats and edged to a clearer space to dance. Except Jihoon, who just leaned against the table.

“Your turn now, Hoon,” Seungkwan said, “it’s your night after all. Show us how you got here!”

All heads turned back to Jihoon. When he didn’t react, they hyped him up, clapping their hands against the tables and chanting his name. Every little sound collided harshly with Jihoon’s ears and prickled against every inch of his body. Suddenly his stomach flipped and his head spun, the last of any colour draining from his face. His body began to sway once again.

Seungcheol caught him just in time. Jihoon’s body crumpled. He fell like a ragdoll against both Seungcheol and the floor.

The room came to a hush. Chan hurried to turn down the karaoke machine’s menu music. Jeonghan ordered the boys to give Jihoon space and they did. Jihoon’s eyes slowly opened.

“Hey,” Seungcheol said so softly that Jihoon only just heard him, “you fainted.”

“Did I?” The boy’s voice was weak. “Sorry…”

“Don’t be, it’s okay,” Seungcheol reassured him. 

Jeonghan crouched down beside them. He pushed back Jihoon’s hair, which had begun to stick to his sweaty forehead.

“It’s okay to say if it’s too much,” he said.

“It’s too much.”

Jihoon wanted to be an idol and he wanted to be part of the group, but he’d barely had time to prepare. He’d only decided that he definitely wanted to pursue this career a month ago. With two weeks of training he barely had time to adjust to even being a trainee and now he was surrounded by nine people that he would never see the back of for years. Furthermore, SEVENTEEN had grown to become his favourite group. He never imagined he’d really be one of them - it was a fantasy. A faraway dream. But it wasn’t anymore - now it was reality. Put all of that together and Jihoon forgot how to breathe.

Slowly, Seungcheol sat Jihoon up. Someone handed him a glass of water which he took small sips of. Then he finally had the guts to stand with the help of Seungcheol (who he almost fell against).

Jihoon felt awful for not being able to have a good evening - he felt like he’d ruined it for everyone. They were all having such fun. He said they could stay but they insisted it would be like holding his birthday party without him. 

He sat in the front seat of the car with the window down. The breeze helped his head to feel a little less foggy. Nobody spoke until Jihoon started crying.

“Please don’t get upset, Hoon,” Seungcheol glanced over for just a second from the road. “It’s our fault for assuming you’d be up for it. We do it for everyone so we just thought… we didn’t think, Hoon.”

Jihoon failed to stifle a sob. He should have enjoyed it. Dokyeom, sat in the back, leaned forward and rubbed his arm in a comforting manner.

The boy apologised which caused the world’s calmest uproar. It’s okay, Hoon, it’s not your fault, we’re the ones who should be sorry.

Mostly what was making Jihoon cry was how embarrassed he was. This wasn’t him. He had never acted like this before. He never liked people much, but they never overwhelmed him. Usually Jihoon just stood to the side and got on with it, but now he had made a fool of himself and everyone probably thought that he didn’t want to be there.

“I’m not usually like this,” Jihoon sniffed. “I-I don’t…”

“No one’s judging you,” Mingyu promised. “You’re probably just tired, right?”

Jihoon nodded and managed to get out a ‘yeah’. He hadn’t slept well in weeks and it certainly wasn’t helping.

His roommate wouldn’t let him mope about when they got back. They changed into their pajamas and then Mingyu dragged him back to the living room. Jeonghan and Seungcheol were talking by the kitchen counter. They shut up when Jihoon entered, giving the boy a funny feeling in his stomach whilst Mingyu ordered him to choose a film. Jihoon obeyed. He sat by the little bookshelf and scanned their DVD collection. His fingers found Guardians Of The Galaxy and he put it into the DVD player. Then he sat back on the sofa next to Mingyu. A blanket was thrown on him.

Jeonghan didn’t like Marvel films but he sat with them anyway. Seungcheol also threw himself next to Jihoon.

“Who’s your favourite?” Seungcheol asked.

“Hero or character in this?”

“Both.”

Jihoon thought for a solid minute. “In this, Groot. Overall… Groot or Black Panther, probably.”

Seungcheol nodded his almost approval. He told the boy that the superior hero was actually Captain America. Mingyu chimed in with Iron Man and Jeonghan said that they all sucked. It earned him an odd look from the others.

By the end of the film, Jihoon still felt down but significantly better. It was much calmer now. Every now and then someone got something from the kitchen and checked that Jihoon was okay, which felt nice. He was a little worried that they’d laugh at him.

Jeonghan sent Jihoon to bed. It was midnight so it made a much earlier night than he was used to - usually it was 3am until he even thought about sleeping. Mingyu followed to give him some company.

“Is Jeonghan the dad of the group or something?” Jihoon asked.

“Yeah. Cheol as well, actually. He’s become very protective of us very quickly.”

Just as Jihoon climbed into bed, his phone began to ring. It was Wonwoo. Jihoon hit accept.

“Hey, next boy!” Wonwoo exclaimed. “How’s the group?”

“Yeah, it’s good! Everyone’s really nice.”

“What have you been up to?”

Jihoon gulped. “Uh. We went out for dinner. And karaoke.”

Wonwoo snorted, commenting that he’d love to see Jihoon at karaoke. Jihoon said nothing. He faked a laugh instead. 

They spoke for a good half an hour and it was nice to hear his friend’s voice. Although they’d seen each other only a few hours ago, it felt like far longer. Jihoon had missed him. Eventually they hung up with another congratulations and a promise that Wonwoo would join him next month. Jihoon smiled fondly.

He buried himself under the covers,despite the main light remaining bright, and turned to face the wall. It was hours until he finally fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok i know this should've been better but THERES NO TIME TO PROOF  
> lov u bye


	8. axolotl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry that this took a while i lowkey forgot despite having uh. however many chapters drafted (im on 18??? 17????) but anyway its here now huzzah

Jihoon woke up late - 14:24, to be exact. He didn’t even wake up naturally - his phone was ringing. Jihoon answered it. It was the CEO. It was a quick call, just informing him that he had a meeting the next day to discuss his debut.

Jihoon finally sat up and stretched. Suddenly he panicked and half tumbled out of bed. He felt like sleeping for 11 hours wasn’t really giving him a fantastic impression.

The house was quiet. Only Jeonghan was in the open plan kitchen/living room. He sat cross legged on the counter eating some ramen. With a neutral expression, he looked up as Jihoon’s feet padded in.

“Hey, kiddo,” Jeonghan greeted, “did you sleep well?”

“Yeah, I did, thanks. Sorry I’m up so late.”

Jeonghan shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. You clearly needed it. Anyway, Vernon’s still asleep too. And Jun, but according to Soonyoung he was up until six googling ferret videos, so. Makes sense.”

Jihoon smiled.

Mingyu was at his first music show today: Show Champion. He’d gone to the Pledis building to practice before heading off for the live show. Jihoon looked forward to watching it, but it was going to be weird without Wonwoo. He tried not to think about how that would be him in a month. The thought made him feel sick. Again.

Jihoon had a relaxed day/afternoon. He sat down on the sofa and flicked the TV on. Jeonghan made him a meal of a BLT sandwich and a can of cola. Jihoon appreciated it.

“Jeonghan? Can I ask you something?”

The idol looked concerned. “Yeah, anything.”

“What’s the universe for this group? My friend always tried to explain but I never understood it.”

Jeonghan chuckled and leaned forward. He grabbed a notebook and started doodling something. Jihoon watched with curiosity.

“You see this?” He said, “this is a mobius strip. Now…”

At one end of the mobius strip, there were three members: Jeonghan, Seungkwan, and Dokyeom. In the middle there was Jun, Hoshi and Dino. And at the other end was Vernon, S.Coups and Mingyu. Jeonghan was the beginning. He was the creator of this universe. The Pretty U music video began in a field and as the video progressed, flowers and trees grew and ended with Jeonghan entering a building. His colour was lilac, which connected him directly to Mingyu (purple), thus connecting 2 of 3 units (yet to be named). Seungcheol’s animal being a dog also gave him power over Mingyu since his animal was a type of dog: a golden retriever. Furthermore, Mingyu’s music video showed aspects of being controlled. In some of his scenes he was confined to a box and the whole video was shot inside.

“So what this means is Mingyu isn’t in his unit by choice,” Jeonghan explained, “and Seungcheol’s pulled him in.”

Unit 1 (Jeonghan, Seungkwan, Dokyeom) was the unit on Earth. Unit 3 (Vernon, S.Coups, Mingyu) were something unearthly, something like the Garden of Eden. Unit 2 (Jun, Hoshi, Dino) were supposedly in between. They could travel back and forth should they want to do so. It was suggested that Hoshi held some sort of power as he was presented as a CEO kind of figure in his video. 

Each unit had someone who was trying to be free. Dokyeom and Vernon were both outside for almost the entirety of their videos. Dino was literally escaping a heavily guarded building. His video actually featured Hoshi as a guard - even though he wouldn’t actually debut for two months at the time of release.

“What about Jun?” Jihoon asked.

“The flowers represent life,” Jeonghan said. He was taking notes as he spoke. “So that tells us that he’s destined to be where he is. The hand at the start of his video now represents Hoshi giving him life.”

“So Hoshi has a God complex.”

Jeonghan thought for a moment. “Yeah. Me and him, yeah. Bow down.”

Jihoon bowed obediently. The two laughed. The new boy smiled the longest, pleased by their bonding.

Seungkwan’s video was very school based. Jeonghan made an appearance during a scene in which he handed him a test and watched intently as he filled it in. As Seungkwan was actually an android, it was safe to say that Jeonghan was training him.

“...and I can’t wait to see where you fit in,” Jeonghan finished. He tore out the pieces of paper.

“Do I need to learn this?”

Jeonghan shrugged. “No one says you do. But it would be embarrassing if a fan asked you about it and you knew nothing.” Jihoon agreed and took the paper gratefully, thanking him as he did so.

Jihoon felt much better today than last night. He was calm and relaxed. Jeonghan had a comforting presence. Already, he felt brotherly to him. He decided then and there that he trusted Jeonghan.

Vernon finally made an appearance. It was hard to miss him - he wore a tie dye themed outfit paired with a rainbow beanie. He went to the kitchen and poured himself some cereal before even noticing that he wasn’t alone.

“Hi, Hoon,” he greeted. “Are you doing okay?”

Jihoon nodded. “Yeah, I am, thanks.”

Vernon gave him a smile. “They can be a bit much sometimes. Very energetic. But everyone will understand if you need space. You just need to say so, okay? Don’t let yourself faint.”

Jihoon’s cheeks flushed red. He said a quiet thank you.

“It’s not that I can’t handle them, exactly,” he explained timidly, “it was just… a lot in one evening.”

Vernon nodded understandingly. Jeonghan patted his shoulder.

Jihoon spent his day relaxing on the sofa in his pajamas. At 6pm, they ordered pizza (Jihoon got first choice) and flicked on Show Champion to watch Mingyu’s performance. Everyone except Dokyeom gathered round, who had gone with him to the show.

“He looks nervous,” Seungcheol observed as Mingyu’s stage finally began.

“I think we all did on our first stage,” Jun said. The boys murmured in agreement. Suddenly, Jihoon felt like he’d started at a new school and the class had brought up a field trip from a year prior.

The performance went smoothly. Mingyu’s confidence rose and soon everyone was in awe of his charisma. He filled the stage effortlessly. His every move was captivating and executed flawlessly. Soonyoung nodded in approval. He was very proud of the boy - he had spent hours and hours perfecting the choreo so that he mirrored Soonyoung to the degree. It had paid off.

When Mingyu arrived home a few hours later (the show had been followed by a fansign), he was pulled into a group hug. Everyone was proud of him - even Jihoon, and he’d only known him for a day.

He slept early that night. Mingyu asked if he was okay in the morning because of it - it meant Jihoon’s entire day previously was ten hours long. It was just sleep deprivation. He woke up at quarter past eight; a far more acceptable time. He and his roommate got ready together even though neither had anywhere to be for hours yet. 

Jihoon’s meeting was at 12. He was nervous about it. Jeonghan was accompanying him though, because he asked him to. And Seungcheol came because he wanted to.

They walked together. The idols slowed down to match Jihoon’s shorter steps. Jihoon appreciated it. Hanging out with Wonwoo usually gave him aching legs by the evening. 

The CEO, Han Sungsu, was a block faced man with square glasses perched upon his nose, his gaze was neither warm nor cold and he was impossible to read. He looked both judgemental and kind. Although he was at Jihoon’s big assessment as well as his audition, they looked at each other as though they had never met before.

Jihoon was asked to sit directly in front of him. Jeonghan took his place beside him. Others around the table included Bumzu as well as various trainers, producers and writers; ten in all. Jeonghan mumbled a “don’t faint” in his ear, earning a playful nudge.

“Lee Jihoon,” started the CEO, “our 10th boy. October’s boy.”

“Hello,” said Jihoon plainly. Jeonghan pursed his lips as he tried not to laugh.

“So... your song Oh My, which I believe you wrote and produced with Bumzu… it’s good. I like it. I think it should be your title track.” He stared expectantly at Jihoon. Jihoon stared.

“He’s waiting for your thoughts,” Jeonghan whispered.

“Oh! Uh, yeah. I agree?”

“Good. In your final audition, you sang an original, correct? What was that?”

Jihoon had to think. God, what did he sing? It’d been so long. He racked his brains out and furrowed his eyebrows. After what felt like hours, it came to him.

“I think it was What Kind Of Future.”

Han Sungsu asked for a sample. Jihoon shyly obliged. He sang the chorus. The man before him nodded thoughtfully. He looked at Bumzu, who was staring hard at Jihoon.

“A good side track,” Bumzu said. The CEO agreed.

“Have you two worked on that one?”

Jihoon shook his head. “No, that’s a draft from home.”

“I want you to work on it. Make it perfect.”

“Yes sir.”

“And Soonyoung and his team are in the final stages of Oh My’s choreography. You’ll be learning it soon. Now, I think you have a plain name.”

“Thank you, sir.”

Jeonghan stifled another laugh whilst Seungcheol put his hand on Jihoon’s knee and squeezed it. The boy’s awkwardness impressed them both.

“You could do with a stage name. Do you have any cool nicknames that we could start from?”

Jihoon slowly nodded. His parents and Wonwoo sometimes called him Uji - a shortening of ‘our Jihoon’. When Wonwoo “joked” about their future idol careers, that was the name he gave him. So he suggested that.

Han Sungsu wrote it down. He gazed at the paper. He mumbled something about a better spelling and Jihoon watched him write ‘Wuji’ followed by ‘Oozi’, ‘Uzi’, ‘Wuzi’ and finally ‘Woozi’. Then he crossed all out except for the final spelling. He didn’t ask for Jihoon’s opinion on this.

“Right, I’ll pass you over to Miss Park Misuk.”

Misuk smiled kindly. She had warm eyes that helped Jihoon feel a little more comfortable. A little.

“Are you familiar with SEVENTEEN’s lore?” She asked.

Jihoon glanced at Jeonghan and nodded. 

“Okay, well, I’m the creative director.”

“Oh! Well done.”

Seungcheol covered his mouth. He looked at the boy with bright eyes. 

“You will be in Unit 1 - that’s the earthly unit. They’re the good guys.” Jeonghan raised his hand for a high five and got scissors in Jihoon in return. “I haven’t gotten much for you yet because I want it to suit you personally. It may be that we base it on your animal. Uh… Jeonghan, what animals do you think suit him?”

Jeonghan pushed his chair back, turning it so he directly faced Jihoon. He leaned forward, elbows on his knees, chin in his hands. He hummed loudly and dramatically as he scanned Jihoon’s face.

“An axolotl.”

It was Jihoon’s turn to laugh. “I can’t be an axolotl.”

“I was thinking of a stingray,” Seungcheol piped up.

“That’s not any good either!”

Misuk hummed. She finally opened the laptop in front of her and stabbed the keyboard. Jihoon could see that she was doing some quick research from the reflection in her glasses.

“Thank you, you two. This is good. Water animals will link him to earth… if I remember correctly, axolotls are regenerative too which could indicate some sort of rebirth.” She began taking notes. Jihoon was fascinated by how quickly she plotted. Jeonghan looked very pleased beside him.

He spoke more to the CEO about the release date, deadline for his sidetrack, when he needed to learn the choreography by, when the music video filming would be. Jihoon failed to acknowledge it all. He seemed to have gone from acknowledging too much to nothing at all.

The meeting drew to a close. When Jihoon left the room, he realised how tight his chest had felt throughout its duration. Finally, he could breathe again.

The two idols took him out for lunch. He was yet to make himself a meal in that house. Mingyu had made him breakfast that morning. Everyone still felt bad about startling him on his first evening and were trying to help him settle. Jihoon was of course grateful but felt a little like he was a guest rather than a housemate. But then again, he wasn’t much of a cook so it was nice that they were delaying the discovery that he couldn’t even cook soup without boiling the flavour out of it.

Their evening mirrored the previous day’s, except Jun cooked dinner for them all. Seungcheol was with Mingyu tonight. Subconsciously, Jihoon missed his presence. He sat with Jeonghan instead. The elder thought it sweet that the boy followed him like a lost puppy. He was honoured.

Jihoon facetimed Wonwoo afterwards, who was keen to hear about what his best friend had been up to. Jihoon told him that he had a meeting, but that topic was cut short by the confidentiality of it. Instead, they discussed what the members were like and how Joshua and Minghao were doing. Jihoon remained shocked that Minghao wasn’t the next boy. 

He fell asleep before Mingyu even got home (which was at 10pm after another fansign and dinner with Seungcheol). The pair intended to hang out with Jihoon in their room, but instead they walked in to see Jihoon knocked out. He was still sitting upright, his phone in his hand.

Seungcheol smiled softly. He climbed up, lay the boy down as carefully as possible, and tucked him in. He plugged his phone in to charge and left it on the shelf. 

“Come chill in my room, Gyu,” he said quietly. Mingyu nodded.

Seungcheol turned the lamp on and flicked the main light off. With one small smile at the sleeping Jihoon, he shut the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nice  
> idk what to say ok love u bye


	9. work

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> now you see the issue this time is i got a switch and animal crossing so. thats all ive been doing. bitchass isabelle FINALLY gave me 3 stars i almost killed her  
> anyway enjoy its half proofread

A few days in, Jihoon had finally begun to feel like a person. This was quickly taken away from him when Soonyoung finished his choreography. However, Jihoon had learned Thanks perfectly within a week so he wasn’t feeling awful about his deadline. He found this easier than Thanks too. He and Bumzu had finished his bside within a few days. He had the benefit of having those done early, meaning he had more free time once he was confident with the choreo. Obviously he still needed to practice it, but once it was down he could drop some of the grueling hours.

Somewhere between the days, Jihoon was struggling to sleep. Bumzu was surprised by a visit at 3am, but maybe Jihoon was more surprised that the guy was even awake.

“Teach me stuff,” Jihoon yawned. He sat down. “Please.”

Bumzu rubbed his eyes. “I don’t think I need to, Hoon. You’re doing great.”

Jihoon frowned. “Is it good enough though?”

“Yeah!” Bumzu encouraged him enthusiastically, “you’re like some monster trainee. I’ve never seen someone like you. You’re a natural.”

Jihoon sat stunned. Then he smiled. They got to work on some random new stuff. Maybe the twelfth boy’s solo… who knows what would become of anything?

Sometimes he saw Wonwoo in the hallways. They waved enthusiastically at each other and occasionally had a quick chat, but Jihoon was too anxious about his deadlines and Wonwoo was too anxious about his assessments for either to stop for long. Somehow his best friend came to feel like a distant memory quite quickly. Neither ever thought it possible, but they each had work to worry about.

Jihoon was working so hard during the day that when he was back home he crashed whenever he sat still for longer than a few minutes. One evening he woke up with his head on Seungcheol’s shoulder. Neither really minded, though. Jihoon ignored that feeling. 

He always had to catch up with Mingyu’s stages later because he napped through them. Jihoon also wondered why he wasn’t sleeping well during the night.

“I like this one’s stage outfit,” Jihoon said with a yawn. He was sitting in bed with his laptop, bingeing the last 3 performances in one go. The outfit in question was leather jeans with a white tee tucked in. A black and white striped bomber jacket completed the look.

“Let me see,” Mingyu requested, leaning over the edge of his bed. Jihoon held his laptop out as far as he could so his roommate didn’t tumble out in the process. “Oh yeah. Super hot though. I thought I was going to pass out.”

Jihoon nodded and turned the screen back around to continue watching. He frowned in concentration. Mental notes were taken of his facial expressions, his charisma, the way he eyed each camera. Mingyu got better and better at all these things with every stage. You could no longer detect any nerves from him. The stage was his friend and he belonged on it.

“You should come with me tomorrow,” Mingyu suggested.

“What? Really?”

“Yeah! I went to one of Cheol’s. It’ll help with the nerves for your first stage.” He looked like he was hesitating then added with a small smile, “we don’t want another panic attack.”

Jihoon agreed. “You know, I don’t have any anxiety issue, it was just-”

“The one time, I know, Hoon. Just making sure you’re definitely okay.”

The boy smiled. He thanked him.

The rest of the members kind of wrapped Jihoon in bubble wrap now. He was fine with being with everyone, it really was just the one day that was overwhelming with all the new things to take in, but whenever they were all together Jeonghan (and Seungcheol) constantly asked him if he was doing okay, if he needed some space. He was well and truly fine, fine, fine and fine.

One evening, Seungcheol called him into the living room. Everyone was there. It felt formal. Jihoon’s stomach quickly made its way to his throat. He clutched onto his bottle of cola perhaps a little too tightly.

“No need to look so scared,” Seungkwan laughed, “you’re like a deer in headlights.”

Jihoon tried to laugh too but all he got was a nervous chuckle. He wasn’t told to sit. He remained hovering in front of them all. 

Seungcheol cleared his throat. 

“It’s time for you to become an official member,” he said.

He handed over a little black box. Jihoon hadn’t even noticed it before. He stared at it in his own hand before someone urged him to open it up. Jihoon carefully did so.

It was a ring. A small, silver ring. Suddenly Jihoon remembered Wonwoo telling him about them. He took it out as gently as he could. ‘Woozi’ was engraved on the inside. He held it like it was the most precious thing in the world. 

“Welcome to SEVENTEEN, kiddo,” he smiled.

Jihoon nodded. Then he grinned.

“Yeah,” he smiled, “yeah, I am.” 

He slipped it on and admired his hand. Somehow, his hand looked more complete now.

Seungcheol held out his hand in an almost fist. His pinky poked out.

“Hold it and leave your finger out too,” he said. Jihoon obeyed. The members quickly gathered around. Someone grabbed Jihoon’s hand and they quickly linked together this way. His first group cheer. Rather than anxiety, like before, Jihoon could only feel joy.

Mingyu’s next stage was the very next day: Inkigayo. It was also the last show of the first week, and the idol’s first at Inkigayo. Jihoon spent the morning at practice with Soonyoung and the choreography team, whose names he did not know so they were simply Soonyoung and friends, and to top it all off he was being watched by the CEO. His afternoon was dedicated to Mingyu.

Jihoon got back to the house at 11am. He’d walked alone for the first time (Soonyoung had a meeting or something) so he got a little lost, but that was okay. He only had to turn around once for a missed road.

He had a dress code to avoid speculations from the public. Mask, hat, and dark clothes to blend in with the staff. Jihoon wasn’t allowed to walk directly next to Mingyu. His identity had to be top secret. Not even his parents knew he was the next boy. So Jihoon chucked on a random pair of jeans, a black tee, and a mask. He also nipped into the trainee’s dorms on his way back and took one of Wonwoo’s low bucket hats with a promise to return it.

Inkigayo was pre-recorded so they left to get there at 1pm. Jihoon slipped beside the manager, Jeon something, and someone else (probably one of the many stylists) and no one seemed to suspect a thing. Once they were out of the public eye, he whipped off his mask and hat. It was way too hot for either. He sat in Mingyu’s dressing room and they were each treated to a famous Inkigayo sandwich as makeup artists and stylists whipped around the idol, laying out his outfit and preparing to doll him up for the camera. Mingyu was a little disappointed by the lack of phone numbers inside. Someone reminded him it was a good thing - he was still a baby. Jihoon meanwhile tried to call Wonwoo. He didn’t pick up. Jihoon hoped he wasn’t working too hard. 

Today Mingyu was looking pretty (hot) in a checkerboard shirt paired with a black blazer and jeans. His brown hair was parted but left to flick over his eyebrows. Dark eyeshadow lightly dusted his eyelids and his plump lips were a subtle red. 

“I can see you checking me out in the mirror, Hoon.”

Jihoon blushed a furious crimson. “No you don’t.”

Mingyu filmed a Going SVT 0.? whilst they were there. Surprisingly, Jihoon didn’t have to hide from the camera. They would blur his face in the editing. So Mingyu bounced around, hyper against his slight nerves, interacting well and including Jihoon here and there. They included the next boy so he wasn’t as awkward for his first few little episodes. Jihoon desperately hoped it worked.

The small amount of filming was done in no time, leaving space for taking photos before the stage lights plus the choreo led to a sweaty, imperfect look. Jihoon took note of Mingyu’s poses as well as facial expressions. He worried that he wouldn’t look as cool for the camera as he did. It seemed to come naturally.

Inkigayo was pre-recorded, so Jihoon sat on the side and watched Mingyu’s two recordings. They were both just as good as his previous stages, if not better. The fan chants were loud and enchanting in person. Jihoon was in awe. Those would be for him in a month…

Mingyu came off stage out of breath. He grinned at Jihoon and Jihoon grinned back.

Upon returning home a few hours later (they had to stay for the live broadcast too), Jihoon headed to his room whilst the others congratulated Mingyu on his first Inkigayo stage. He changed into what he had been wearing prior to his “disguise” and set off again. He nudged Seungcheol on the way out.

“I’m going to find Wonwoo,” he said. Seungcheol nodded and wished him luck.

Jihoon didn’t get lost this time. He was fine on the way towards Pledis - it was the way back that almost baffled him. 

Eventually Jihoon made it to the trainee dorms. It felt like forever since he’d been there and yet it had only been 5 days. He knocked on Wonwoo’s door and let himself in. Empty. Apart from Joshua. Did Joshua ever leave? Whenever Jihoon wanted Wonwoo he only got Josh.

“Hi,” Jihoon said to be polite.

Joshua jumped. “Oh! Hi superstar! Are you looking for Wonwoo? He’s with Bumzu.”

Jihoon thanked him and turned around. As he was walking, he realised he probably should’ve made more polite conversation. It was a bit late now. He’d make it up to him at some point.

He knew the way to the studio like the back of his hand. He barely had to think about the exact hallway it was in whereas a few weeks ago Bumzu had found him stood confused by a door he swore he’d walked past ten times already. 

Jihoon entered the studio. Wonwoo glanced over his shoulder. He beamed.

“Jihoon!”

“Hey, Won,” Jihoon greeted cheerfully, taking a seat next to his best friend. He and Bumzu bowed their heads at each other. That was enough for them.

“You were right in saying he’s a good songwriter,” Bumzu said. Wonwoo went red as Jihoon took his notebook from him and started scanning the page. The lyrics were good. Obviously, he couldn’t say anything about the tune.

“B-side or title?”

“Probably a b-side. And Wonwoo wants to ask you something about it.”

Jihoon turned dramatically to his friend in his swivel chair. He swivelled too far so he had to swivel back. Bit more. Too far. Too far again. There.

“Can you sing the chorus?”

“No.”

Wonwoo looked hurt.

“I’m kidding.”

Wonwoo looked relieved.

“I’ll try to find the time. Just for you.”

Then Wonwoo suddenly erupted in questions - how was he? Was it a lot? Was he eating well? What about sleep? How were the members, were they nice to him and did they get along? Was he happy? Was the workload getting to him?

Jihoon bobbed his head around like he was being physically pushed by each question. He waited for Wonwoo to stop. Once he had, Jihoon took a deep breath.

“Everything’s fine, I’m not any more tired than I was before. The guys are nice, they look after me a little too much, but everything’s fine.”

Wonwoo seemed to be a little reassured. Jihoon wondered if he was partially worried for himself if - no, when - he got that far. 

Jihoon worried for Wonwoo as a member too. Judging by the bags under his eyes and the colour of his skin, he had been working more than hard enough as a trainee. Today’s phone call wasn’t the only one Wonwoo had failed to pick up. If he was this hard on himself out of the public eye, how would he respond to the country, maybe one day the whole world, watching his every move? For his mental health, Jihoon didn’t want him in the group. His fear of fame applied not only to him, but also to his best friend.

Wonwoo worked on more lyrics and was pushed into the vocal booth. Jihoon had his headphones in between takes, getting to grips with the melody of the Bumzu’s demo chorus and any modifications he’d try to make. When Wonwoo started rapping however, he had Jihoon’s full attention. He watched proudly. His eyes lit up as he watched his best friend lose himself within his own lyrics.

It took only a few takes. Bumzu asked if Jihoon was ready. He and Wonwoo switched places. And a few takes later, half of the song was done.

Jihoon came home at 2am. Ten hours were spent in the studio, working hard with adlibs and every little detail - and rerecording a bassline that Bumzu accidentally deleted and misplaced the small piece of paper it was written on. Their hard work paid off and they managed to complete it. However, they had to go over it again later. You can never trust your 2am judgement.

Jihoon walked Wonwoo back to his room. He let the boy hug him before turning around to go home.

He opened the door as quietly as he could, although he could see a dim light from the living room window. Jihoon walked into Seungcheol on the couch. He had wrapped himself in blankets and was watching _Clueless _. Of all films.__

__Jihoon threw himself down next to him. He was only twenty minutes in. Seungcheol absentmindedly put the blanket over him as well._ _

__“Have you seen this before?” Seungcheol asked._ _

__“Once. It was okay.”_ _

__Instead of replying, he offered Jihoon some popcorn. Jihoon hadn’t even realised there was any popcorn. He took a handful gratefully. It was salty - his favourite._ _

__Jihoon was tired but he forced his eyes open. For some reason, he really wanted to be with Seungcheol. He instinctively felt at ease when he was around and any worries of the day relaxed. He put it down to the fact that Seungcheol was his favourite in the group, his inspiration. Jihoon didn’t let the thought occur to him that that should’ve made him nervous._ _

__Eventually, his body gave in before his mind could. But that was okay, because Seungcheol was sleepy too. Although initially they were sitting a little way apart, Jihoon ended up with his head leaning on Seungcheol’s shoulder. Seungcheol, still awake, leaned his head on Jihoon and allowed sleep to take over, tugging the blanket cosily over each of them._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk ill try update next week rather than in two the chapters literally right there   
> love u bye


	10. jealousy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i uh. animal crossing and i started another fic so  
> this is a bad chapter but i felt like i needed to update bc i forgot for like. two months????????? anyway enjoy

Jihoon woke up and jumped. Why was he leaning against Seungcheol? As he jerked up and sat up straight, he knocked Seungcheol’s head off of his and woke him up too. Both boys awkwardly apologised to each other.

Vernon stood nearby. He watched the whole affair take place with blank eyes and treating himself to some buttered toast. He hadn't even sat down. He was just standing there. Jihoon didn’t really question it, but when he’d think of it later he’d laugh. 

“Were you watching us sleep?” Seungcheol asked jokingly.

Vernon frowned. “No. Two group members thrown over each other tend to be quite eye catching.”

The two both slid away from each other. Jihoon’s cheeks and Seungcheol’s ears turned red.

Jihoon ended up late to dance practice. Soonyoung wasn’t happy about it. He was a strict teacher - he actually scared him. God forbid Jihoon’s arm was five degrees too high.

“Where have you been?” Soonyoung asked. Jihoon couldn’t tell if he was mad or not.

“Did you not see me when you left?”

Chan snorted. “Draped onto Seungcheol?”

Jihoon sighed in defeat. He was only leaning, he mumbled. Soonyoung’s expression remained blank. His eyes went from sunlight to stone.

“Well,” he said stiffly, “come on then.”

Chan had only made a few changes here and there, but Jihoon stumbled over them. Days of repetitive practice meant his instincts stuck to what they knew and they had to keep going back. He got frustrated with himself and Soonyoung did too. None of the many slip ups helped. Eventually, Soonyoung snapped.

“For God’s sake, Hoon-”

“I’m _sorry, _I am trying-”__

__“Try harder! It’s not that difficult!”_ _

__Jihoon stood still, letting his limbs hang limp in defeat. Chan tugged Soonyoung’s arm, hissing at him to calm down._ _

__The idol-to-be wished it was a day that they had others with them; the company’s dance team. Then maybe Soonyoung would be able to keep his head on._ _

__Chan took over as Jihoon’s lead. He was much gentler, much kinder. According to him, it was okay when he made mistakes. He went back over and took him through it slowly for as long as Jihoon needed. Soonyoung watched, tongue in cheek. He looked a mixture of angry and sad. Smad._ _

__When they were done, Jihoon was far more confident with the choreography but he didn’t gain the same satisfaction as he usually did. He left with a sigh, walking home alone until someone called his name. He turned around to see Chan jogging to catch up._ _

__“Hey,” Jihoon greeted as he reached him._ _

__“Hi. I’m really sorry about Soonyoung, I don’t know what’s gotten into him. I just told him you’re tired and stressed… Honestly, he should know, he’s been where you are before and-”_ _

__“Chan,” Jihoon said softly, “it’s alright. No big deal. I’ll just let him cool off and talk to him later.”_ _

__The boy nodded. Neither said anything, but they were each now mildly panicked about tension in the group._ _

__“You know,” Chan piped up, “he went funny when I said you were with Cheol.”_ _

__Jihoon stopped abruptly. It took Chan a moment to notice and he had to take a few steps back. They stared at each other._ _

__“You don’t think…?”_ _

__“I don’t know. He does seem a bit keen on you. He looks forward to your sessions. Like, more than the trainees and Cheol and Gyu. Usually, anyway. And he smiles so big when you laugh.”_ _

__Jihoon’s brows furrowed. He kept walking. “Well, I don’t like him. Not like that. If anything, I… no, never mind.”_ _

__Chan grinned. “You like Seungcheol!”_ _

__“What, are you working with Dispatch or something?”_ _

__The boy laughed. He quickly argued and pointed out evidence. The way they looked for each other’s reaction when they said something funny, how Seungcheol always made sure to sit next to Jihoon and vice versa. These were all things Jihoon had never even noticed himself. But Chan was right. And the biggest clue of all was that Chan had overheard Seungcheol talking to Jeonghan last night, saying things like “it’s only been a few weeks but I do really like him”. Chan was very excited to spill it all. Jihoon took note to never share a secret with him whilst his face turned redder and redder until anyone would lose in a spot the difference between him and a tomato._ _

__Jihoon walked with Chan to the front door of the building, then revealed that he actually had somewhere else to be. The boy nodded and they said their goodbyes._ _

__Of course, somewhere else was the studio. Wonwoo and Bumzu were already there._ _

__“Sorry I’m late,” Jihoon said for the second time that day, “Chan was telling me about uh… well, too much to share.”_ _

__“That’s alright,” replied Bumzu. Then he added, “I hope you could handle it. We don’t want you to faint again.”_ _

__Jihoon looked exhausted._ _

__Wonwoo, a little confused, asked for context._ _

__It surprised Bumzu that he didn’t already know. He assumed the two best friends shared everything. He explained to Wonwoo, adding to Jihoon that it was Seungcheol who told him._ _

__“Seungcheol talks a lot about how you’re doing actually, Hoon.”_ _

__Jihoon decided to pretend that he hadn't heard the last part. He engrossed himself in Wonwoo’s concerns of why he didn’t tell him and if the guys helped him afterwards._ _

__They continued with yesterday’s song, which they all agreed to call ‘Lies’. It only needed a touch up of new ideas since the day before (or that morning) and then they had milked all they could out of it and it was officially finished. That only meant the start of a new project. The trio never ran out of things to do, despite their impressive speed._ _

__Seungcheol came in a few minutes later. He sat with them and helped with the lyric brainstorm, peeling an orange as he did so. Jihoon found himself watching the man’s hands and shook himself out of it. This wasn’t before Seungcheol caught him, though. The man smiled at him. Was Chan right?_ _

__A part of him hoped so._ _

__Jihoon picked up his notebook and moved from the desk to the sofa where Seungcheol was. They wrote together, passing the paper and bickering to keep it in the middle. They fought over the pen during a brainwave but laughed as they did so. When Seungcheol’s mind went blank, he drew a small line on Jihoon’s cheek as he was talking to Wonwoo. It became a competition to see who could draw on the other without them noticing. They left the studio with several black lines on their left and right hand each._ _

__Jihoon said a distracted goodbye to Wonwoo (who was, of course, suspicious) and walked with Seungcheol. He was under the impression that they were walking back home. His feet followed the idol’s, and they were too busy chatting for Jihoon to realise that Seungcheol wasn’t taking any of the usual paths. He probably should’ve been concerned about a possible murder about to take place._ _

__When Jihoon did finally look up, they were standing outside a sweet looking diner. Inside the crystal clear windows he could see that it was almost straight out of the 1950s, its colour scheme all white apart from the stools and booths which were a hot pink. Seungcheol held open the glass door for him._ _

__A date?_ _

__Jihoon entered._ _

__They each took a seat at one of the lined up tables. Seungcheol, ever the gentleman, pulled out Jihoon’s chair first before tucking it in for him. For the millionth time, Jihoon’s face became stained a bright scarlet._ _

__“This is cute,” Jihoon said almost awkwardly._ _

__Seungcheol shrugged. “I thought it’d be nice to have time to ourselves.”_ _

__The younger one agreed and they smiled. A waitress came over to take their order before long. Jihoon almost forgot how to speak. He was very busy thinking about whether or not this was a date. It looked like one. It felt like one. But Seungcheol hadn’t said anything. He hadn’t even asked for just lunch or dinner or whatever you call the in-between. Maybe he was shy._ _

__“Jihoon?”_ _

__The boy jumped. “Oh! Sorry. I’ll uh… have what he’s having.”_ _

__He had no idea what he was having. All he really knew was that he was happy to be with Seungcheol._ _

__Even if Chan was wrong and the idol wasn’t crushing on him, Jihoon was pleased that they were out together now. Because after all, Jihoon didn’t have a crush on Seungcheol. It was only that if he did like anyone in the group, that’s who it would be - not Soonyoung. Jihoon may have begun to cling to Seungcheol in the more recent days, but he spent his whole life clinging to Wonwoo. So it didn’t mean anything, did it? But then again, Jihoon did feel oddly pleased when Chan-_ _

__“Penny for them.”_ _

__Jihoon snapped back to reality. “It’s nothing.”_ _

__Seungcheol looked a little concerned. He leaned forward. “Hey, if something’s on your mind you can talk to me. Even if you do think it’s nothing.”_ _

__Those big dark eyes were around with worry and care. Jihoon stared into them and his heart began to melt. Truly, he trusted him. But not with his ‘I like him, I like him not’ crisis. So Jihoon just shrugged._ _

__“Just… Soonyoung yelled at me at dance today. The choreo was changed and I was getting confused and he snapped and… now I’m worried about any tension…”_ _

__It wasn’t a complete lie. It had been on his mind. Somewhere._ _

__“He yelled at you? Badly?”_ _

__“No,” Jihoon shook his head, “it was more like he just got annoyed and… yeah. Chan calmed him down but he still seemed a bit funny all through the lesson.”_ _

__Seungcheol’s brows furrowed. It was a while before he said anything._ _

__“Maybe he’s tired. Probably stressed, too. He’s got a lot of weight on his shoulders now.”_ _

__“Yeah,” Jihoon put on a small smile, “that’s probably all it is. I’ll talk to him later.”_ _

__Jealousy. Jealousy, jealousy, jealousy. Soonyoung was fine until Chan mentioned Seungcheol. His eyes had glossed over._ _

__Shut up, Jihoon._ _

__Their drinks were quickly brought over. Two delicious looking chocolate flavoured milkshakes in tall aesthetic glasses topped off with cream and a cherry. Jihoon sipped from the straw and his eyes widened. It was like rich ice cream that melted in your mouth._ _

__“Is this from heaven?!” He exclaimed. Seungcheol just laughed fondly._ _

__The food was even better. A red basket with checked paper carrying a cheeseburger with fries was delivered to each of them. They tucked in between cheerful conversation, getting to know each other. Jihoon learned that Seungcheol was from Daegu, he had an older brother, was a massive mama’s boy and was afraid of rollercoasters. In turn he learned that Jihoon was born in Busan but moved to Seoul as a toddler, an only child, wasn’t favoured to either parent and was an absolute slut for all rollercoasters. And of course that was only the basics of their conversation._ _

__They ate well but bickered over who would have the pleasure of paying. It was easily settled by Jihoon not actually having his wallet on him. It did, however, spark another friendly argument on whether or not he would be paying him back._ _

__The pair came through the front door of their home laughing over something stupid Seungcheol had said. As Jihoon grinned, he caught a glimpse of Soonyoung sitting on the couch. He glanced over from his phone and looked them up and down. Seungcheol wiped the grin off of his face._ _

__“Talk later, Hoon,” he said. Jihoon nodded with a small smile._ _

__He didn’t want to look at Soonyoung. He walked past, down the hallway and into his room with Mingyu._ _

__Jihoon didn’t see that Mingyu was there. Or maybe he did - he had other things to worry about. The second he heard the door shut he began to cry. It was like the slam of it broke him. Jihoon stood helpless, hands hanging limp by his side, as tears ran and he let out sobs._ _

__It was the stress of it all. On top of his looming debut, an image glared in his mind. The way Seungcheol’s smile fell, the way his eyes darkened, the way the happy bubble burst. Jihoon wished that Chan had kept his mouth shut. Then he would assume that Soonyoung was just tired and that Seungcheol hadn’t just improvised a date. Being stuck between the two would cause too much hurt. And he definitely didn’t like Soonyoung - he liked Seungcheol._ _

__He liked Seungcheol._ _

__This thought made him cry harder. If he got somewhere with him, how would Soonyoung feel? Would Soonyoung always look them up and down like he did just then? Jihoon was terrified. Groups were meant to bond. They were meant to be best friends. SEVENTEEN should be his new family and yet already he’d triggered something bad. So Jihoon just sobbed._ _

__By this point, Mingyu had jumped out of bed. It was almost cool. He skipped the steps altogether and shoved himself over the edge to scoop Jihoon into his arms as quickly as possible. Jihoon usually hated hugs but he allowed it now. Mingyu held the boy’s head to his chest, his other arm firmly against his back so that Jihoon was enveloped to him. He swayed softly from side to side like trying to soothe a baby. He didn’t really question it. Perhaps he realised that Jihoon wasn’t in the right mind to talk._ _

__“It’s okay, Hoon,” he said softly, “it’s okay.”_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyway ill try remember to post the next 7 chapters i have done regularly and see what happens tbh  
> i would try to write both my fics at once but theyre so different that ill mix personalities up and whatnot so we'll have to see which one i hate the most sorry  
> love u bye


	11. nice hair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have a new laptop so maybe ill be more active again we  
> also im gonna be honest . i did not proof this whole thing and some of the parts i proofed desperately needed the editing so im very sorry in advance for how terrible this chapter is,, i wouldve proofed it all but its long and boring i wont lie so ig ill add a tl:dr at the end if you get bored thanks bye

Jihoon’s album was to have three versions - Meet, Follow, and Set The Sun. For some sort of universe lore detail, two versions were to be shot before the third. He needed a bit of a revamp for the third which included dying his hair, so Jihoon was both excited and terrified for that.

Jeonghan wanted Jihoon to eat well before his shoot, but he had to keep the morning’s flat stomach so he just had a small helping of various fruits. It also started insanely early - they needed to be there for around 7am. This meant Jeonghan setting his alarm for five o’clock so that he could wake Jihoon without also waking up Mingyu in the process. If Jihoon ate much that early he’d throw up.

It surprised him to see that Seungcheol was awake too. It seemed both he and Jeonghan would accompany him. Jihoon stuck closer to Seungcheol. He didn’t miss the raised eyebrow from Jeonghan and the soft smile from Seungcheol that followed. As his own little response, Jihoon brushed his wrist against his. He got too shy to go any further though and left Seungcheol to find his hand. Just as he went to hold it, Jihoon left his side.

Jihoon’s first round of styling was done at the company building. The outfit Jihoon was thrown into consisted of an oversized white shirt with three stripes running down each side of the torso and loose dark pants. His hair was combed through and left to flop across his eyebrows. They went for a very natural look for his makeup - subtle eyeshadow and light lip tint on top of foundation and lots of concealer.

“Pretty!” Seungcheol exclaimed as Jihoon stepped outside. The boy shyly smiled.

Both of them fell asleep in the car. Jeonghan however joined every boy’s photoshoots, meaning that by now he was almost used to waking up so early. He read a book as Jihoon flopped against Seungcheol and Seungcheol flopped against Jihoon. As cute as they were, it worried Jeonghan a little bit. They’d be fucked if a manager caught onto them.

The car came to a stop in a rural car park and Jeonghan woke the boys up. Jihoon was still very much half asleep as he stumbled out of the car.

“The camera’s on for Going Seventeen,” Jeonghan informed him.

Jihoon caught eye of the camera and waved. He quickly tried to perk up and look alive.

“Do I talk to it now?”

“They’ll prompt you properly in a bit.”

They did a few minutes later. They found a decent background and asked him about the day ahead. So Jihoon stood in the dim outside light, watched Jeonghan move his fingers as a signal to smile and started talking.

“Hello. Uh…” Jihoon cut off into laughter. 

“Jihoon!” Jeonghan scolded. 

They ended up throwing Jeonghan in with him to help him feel a little more comfortable. Jeonghan held his hand above and below the boy’s face as if he was framing him.

“Hi, I’m SEVENTEEN’s 10th boy, Ji- Woozi!”

“Try that again,” the director chuckled.

“Okay. Okay.”

Jihoon gave it one more shot and when he actually got his own name right, Jeonghan treated him to a small round of applause. Seungcheol grinned from behind the camera.

Jihoon went on to explain how early they’d woken up in order to catch the fresh light that followed sunrise, that they had two album shoots to get done today and that he would work hard to be the best tenth boy he could be. As soon as the camera’s cut off, he mimicked gagging.

Jeonghan laughed. “What’s that for?”

“I make myself cringe.”

After the short segment, Jihoon was directed along a path across some fields. Once the sun was up and Jihoon had spoken some more to the camera, the photoshoot began.

The boy sat down in the long grass. Luckily, he was naturally quite photogenic so they encouraged him not to worry about his sleepy, dazed look. They had to direct him on what to do with his hands though. He tried along his hair, by his face, plainly in front of him. Then Jihoon was told to lie down and they’d get some shots from above. The sun was in his eyes so he instinctively held his hand in front of his eye and with the other, he held a long chunk of grass out of the way. The directors actually quite liked his hands out and encouraged similar poses.

After they got Jihoon to walk around and model some more with props such as a wooden stepladder, the shoot was done. He piled back into the car with his group mates and they headed to the next location.

The location in question was a building that looked like a cross between a warehouse and an actual home. Several rooms inside were empty, but some had been furnished.

Jihoon had a wardrobe change into a striped shirt over a white tee. He was surprised by another car pulling up and Mingyu stepping out. He was dressed for the concept too. 

Jihoon did some solo shoots in a room set up like a white themed artistic living room. He lay across the sofa, playing with a half full glass on the side table. He followed this by standing around and tilting his head, earning a comment on his ‘daintiness’ from Jeonghan. Then Jihoon had another wardrobe change before being joined by Mingyu and they did some modelling together. Jihoon was also told that he would have to do some shoots with boy 11 - it was a tradition, apparently.

When the photoshoot was done, he and Mingyu filmed some more for Going Seventeen (or GoSe, for short). Jeonghan and Seungcheol had already been playing around with the camera and discussing Jihoon’s mannerisms. Jeonghan had also mentioned to the viewers that Jihoon had “definitely been the most timid of all the boys to start with”, something Jihoon would playfully scold him for when he saw it later.

Jihoon’s third photoshoot was the next evening. The day was spent bleaching his hair blonde. He facetimed Wonwoo after his hair was done, who responded by screaming down the phone. It was definitely going to take some getting used to.

Jihoon was then changed into his outfit before having his makeup done. The same makeup look as the day before (albeit pinker eyeshadow) accompanied a large pink and white striped shirt and pretty short purple shorts. To top it off, Jihoon donned yellow sneakers that he quite liked. He stomped around in them like a happy toddler.

Seungcheol and Jeonghan joined him again. Dino decided to come last minute and they had to wait for him as he quickly put on his shoes. 

Today’s location was an aesthetic building on the outskirts of the city. They were led up to the rooftop where a garden party seemed to have been set up. Blankets covered the fake grass and cushions were dotted about. Red patterned deck chairs filled up the empty spaces. A small bamboo coffee table sat in the middle. The only thing on it was a plate of oranges.

Jihoon lay around and played with the camera. He was much more comfortable today. He happily used the props around him, obscuring half of his face with an astronomy magazine. An extra camera was filming for both GoSe and a behind the scenes video. Whenever he caught it focusing on him, he pulled a face. His go to was either to scrunch his lips out in a cute pout or slip his tongue between his teeth and go (more) cross eyed.

“Very pretty,” Seungcheol told him with a smile as Jihoon came back over. Jihoon went red. Then it was time for more GoSe.

When the sun went down, Jihoon was taken to the balcony on the floor below. This had also been set up like a garden party, but this one was a little more organised. Fairy Lights gave the space a golden glow. Jihoon sat down and posed, taking directions as he did so. Then the GoSe cameraman filmed him as he messed around with Seungcheol, Chan and Jeonghan. Jihoon ended up in a pool he didn’t even realise was there. 

Jeonghan shoved Seungcheol in too and ran. It looked like a mischievous gesture, very in character, but Jihoon got the feeling he knew exactly what he was doing as he joined Chan on the side. Jihoon laughed as he bobbed about and Seungcheol resurfaced.

“Hey, you,” he grinned. Seungcheol swam towards him and stopped no more than a metre away. He looked like he was going to say something. Then he splashed the boy instead. Jihoon was quick to retaliate despite the new sting in his eyes. The camera caught every moment.

Jihoon nor Seungcheol had a change of clothes so they climbed into the car home wrapped in a towel each. Jihoon began to shiver. 

“Please don’t get ill, Hoon,” Jeonghan sighed. Jihoon chuckled.

“I’ll be fine. I always am.”

The manager dropped off Jeonghan and Seungcheol at the house and took Jihoon back to the building. His clothes had to be returned for future stages. Jihoon hung his clothes up and got back into what he had been wearing earlier that day. He was offered a ride home but he politely declined. He had a different idea.

So thirty minutes later Jihoon had made his way to Wonwoo’s dorm just to discover that he wasn’t even there. Not even Joshua was there. Jihoon sighed and turned around. Did Wonwoo ever rest now?

He tried the studio because that was where Wonwoo was last time. Just a tired looking Bumzu.

“Alright?” Jihoon asked. The guy nodded. “Do you know where-”

“Wonwoo? No idea. Sorry.”

Jihoon sighed once more. He must’ve jinxed that one.

So finally, Jihoon found him in the practice room. He was having a late class (it was 9pm) from… Hoshi. Jihoon swore under his breath. He decided to wait outside instead. It was probably a bad decision - he waited for a while. He scrolled through Twitter to pass the time. 

Jihoon followed a lot of SEVENTEEN accounts now. It was Wonwoo’s fault. It was fun to see what people were saying about Mingyu. The reception was generally quite good, but the odd person was being a little too hard on him. He liked to see them speculate about the next boy. They seemed fairly sure the next boy would have a dark concept as “they seemed to be getting darker and darker”. Jihoon couldn’t help but laugh. 

The class ended and Soonyoung left first. He noticed Jihoon and seemed to consider talking to him. In the end, he mumbled a hello and kept going. Jihoon almost wanted to cry.

Many trainees passed him. A few looked him up and down. He even heard someone whisper “that’s the next boy” and Jihoon’s cheeks flushed red like they always seemed to do these days. When the traffic stopped and Jihoon hadn’t seen Wonwoo, he entered the studio.

Wonwoo was still practicing in the corner. His hair had been pushed back but some still stuck to his forehead. His face was redder than Jihoon’s ever was. And he looked exhausted. Jihoon sighed.

“Won?” He called. “Wonwoo, take a break. You’ve done enough.”

Wonwoo faltered just for a second. “I can’t. I need to debut.”

Jihoon stormed over and grabbed Wonwoo’s arm. He dragged him back towards the door.

“You look awful. You need to rest.”

Jihoon didn’t let go of Wonwoo’s hand until they’d made it back to his room. Joshua, always in character, already sat on his bed with a book. His eyes widened as he came in.

“Wonwoo’s never been back so early.”

Jihoon felt a little angry by those words. All he saw in his once joyful best friend was a boy struggling to cope. He wished more than anything that Wonwoo could find a balance between his health and his work.

But maybe that was easy for Jihoon to say. He’d barely done anything and won a place.

He ordered Wonwoo to shower and change into his pajamas. The boy tried to argue but Jihoon argued back, and Wonwoo knew more than anyone how stubborn Jihoon could be. It was difficult to argue against him and win. So he grabbed his pajamas and left for the communal bathroom.

Jihoon sat cross legged on Wonwoo’s bed. The duvet was lumpy and uncomfortable. How did he sleep well enough at night? 

The boy jumped up again and started remaking the bed. He beat against the duvet and the pillow, making sure to perfectly smooth it down so that it was at its full potential. Joshua watched the fiasco with an amused raised eyebrow. Then the trainee felt a little bit guilty.

“I try to look after him,” he piped up.

“I’m sure you do. He’s just too determined for his own good.”

Joshua agreed. “He… he doesn’t eat much. At mealtimes he just goes back to practice. I can’t convince him or anything.”

Jihoon scratched the back of his neck. He didn’t know what to do. What could he do? Was there even anything he could say that would convince Wonwoo that he was working more than hard enough?

If it wasn’t for his parents. Rather than spite fueling him, the spite from them telling him he couldn’t do it, it was the fear that fueled him. He knew that his best friend was afraid of them being right. Afterall, they’d only agreed to let Wonwoo become a trainee because they were so sure that he’d fail and come home. They would be right at this rate. The exhaustion would get to him.

Wonwoo came back looking much better than before. He seemed much more comfortable in plaid pajama bottoms and a big tshirt. His hair was now all slicked back and nothing was stuck to his face. His skin was only soft pink from the hot water rather than exercise. Jihoon relaxed. Just a little bit.

“Did you make my bed?” He asked.

Jihoon shrugged. “If you’re not going to look after yourself you might as well have a decent bed to sleep in.”

Wonwoo sat on the edge. He looked like he could doze off at any minute, so Jihoon decided to let him.

“Look, I uh… I don’t know when I’m next free for an evening, but I’ll text you when I do. And I’ll take you out for a proper dinner. No arguments.”

His friend nodded. 

“That does sound nice,” he admitted. 

“And we can catch up properly,” Jihoon smiled as he walked to the door. As he opened it, he turned to look at Wonwoo. “I’ve missed you, you know. It’s weird without you.”

Jihoon wasn’t used to telling people how he felt so he promptly shut the door.

The boy spent a few hours at Bumzu’s studio next. He was growing closer and closer to him every time they were together. Jihoon felt quite good about producing with him for the group. He encouraged him just enough that his confidence grew but not so much that he got big headed. A perfect bundle.

Then finally, Jihoon was where he was beginning to consider home: in his room with Mingyu chilling opposite.

Mingyu was being very careful around Jihoon again. It was, of course, the small breakdown he’d had. Jihoon had cried for at least an hour in Mingyu’s arms and he didn’t explain a thing. So it didn’t come much of a surprise when Mingyu brought it up now.

“Do you want to talk about the other night?”

Jihoon thought about it. Really, the answer was yes. He tried to hover into it.

“I think Soonyoung’s mad at me,” he said in a small voice.

“Why?”

Jihoon spoke even quieter now. “Because I like Seungcheol. At dance the other day he… he went a bit funny after Chan said something about Cheol and I falling asleep on each other. He yelled at me over something small and hasn’t spoken to me since.”

Mingyu looked baffled. “Hang on… okay. So, he likes you, but you like Cheol?”

“Yeah.”

“How do we know he likes you? Soonyoung, I mean. Seungcheol literally asked me the other day if I think you’re gay, so...”

“Tell him I am,” Jihoon said.

And then he mentioned the two times he was invited out for lunch from him, which looking back may have been dates. The times he got stopped in the hallway by him and no one else did. How much Soonyoung laughed when Jihoon said something only mildly amusing. The cupcake he slipped him before the test and how much gentler he had treated him in his classes. Mingyu, now sat up, nodded along.

“And now he’s jealous.”

Jihoon nodded. “I don’t want it to build up to anything. But he saw me today and he could only just say hi. He’s really pissed, Gyu.”

“He needs to get over himself,” Mingyu sighed. “This isn’t your fault. You can’t help anyone’s feelings, not even your own. Just try to talk to him, okay?”

“Yeah,” said Jihoon, “I’ll try my best.”

“Oh, and Hoon?”

“Yeah?”

“Nice hair.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TL:DR jihoon did photoshoots for his album its literally just the ymmday he and jeonghan and cheol and chan i think idk i only skimmed after writing this 4 months ago bonded together so thats nice n jicheol almost held hands somewhere i think idk he bleached his hair blonde so that was fun for him and also he and mingyu had a Heart To Heart abt the soonyoung issue and also wonwoo is overworking himself and is very tired and exhausted so hoon looked after him a bit  
> anyway thanks for reading ily bye

**Author's Note:**

> yes its meant to say 12 members not 13  
> ill update again soon like maybe in a couple of days im a little way through ch8 at the moment so  
> thanks for reading pls share and comment bc it motivates me and also kudos pls thnak u love u bye


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